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Topic – Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

Topic – Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. v. 1
In this expeditiously evolving world, education, which was once a little part of our lives, is now a paramount step towards a successful career. Some people believe that a successful learning is primarily dependent on the quality of teachers. Whereas, others propound that it depends on students’ determination. I will discuss both the views and provide my outlook diligently for a bird’s-eye stance. On the hand, it is speculated that, students, who struggle to win the education battle alone, learn what they are taught by their mentors. As a result, an excellent teacher will lead to educational success. Also, numerous pupils consider their teachers as their role models. To illustrate, I was extremely bad in mathematics. It is because of my teacher that I scored great marks in primary as well as in secondary board examinations. Furthermore, our education system has been designed in such a way that our pupils’ hard work should be complemented by excellent mentors for their success. On the other hand, some pragmatists reckon that a knowledge is a two-way street. If students’ aspirations are not high, then no teacher can succour them. Consequently, it becomes imperative for an aspirant to have a positive attitude to succeed in all the educational exams. To illustrate, every year, many people clear national and international level entrance exams like UPSC, GRE and IIT-JEE with their perennial efforts and determination. Moreover, a teacher’s main job is to guide his students. The hard work has to be done by the aspirants. To conclude, I postulate that brilliant teachers and their guidance are indispensable for students’ successful life, although pupils must have a strong inclination towards achieving their goals. Therefore, a true balance between mentor’s guidance and his student’s hard work is intrinsic
In this
expeditiously
evolving world, education, which was once a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a paramount step towards a successful career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that a successful learning is
primarily
dependent on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others propound that it depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
determination. I will discuss both the views and provide my outlook
diligently
for a bird’s-eye stance.

On the hand, it
is speculated
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who struggle to win the education battle alone, learn what they
are taught
by their mentors.
As a result
, an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
will lead to educational success.
Also
, numerous pupils consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as their role models. To illustrate, I was
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in mathematics. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
that I scored great marks in primary
as well
as in secondary board examinations.
Furthermore
, our education system has
been designed
in such a way that our pupils’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work should
be complemented
by excellent mentors for their success.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pragmatists reckon that
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "knowledge".
a knowledge
is a two-way street. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
aspirations are not high, then no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
succour
them.
Consequently
, it becomes imperative for an aspirant to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude to succeed in all the educational exams. To illustrate, every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
national and international level entrance exams like
Possible spelling mistake found.
UPSC
, GRE and
Possible spelling mistake found.
IIT-JEE
with their perennial efforts and determination.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
main job is to guide his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
by the aspirants.

To conclude
, I postulate that brilliant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and their guidance are indispensable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
successful life, although pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a strong inclination towards achieving their goals.
Therefore
, a true balance between mentor’s guidance and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is intrinsic
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic – Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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