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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree v. 107 v.48

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 107 v. 48
Health is integral to every individual and the general public and reports have shown that there is a surge in the number of people struggling with their well-being due to the consumption of junk. As a result of this, I completely agree that the legislature needs to intervene by controlling unhealthy eating habits. I will support my view with strong arguments and examples. Fast foods are attractive to the public due to its ready-to-eat nature and affordability. However, many of the ingredients used in preparing them are harmful to the body in large intake. For example, obesity, which is on the rise in the United States of America is as a result of eating fatty foods and fizzy drinks in enormous quantity. Obese people struggle with daily activities and recurring health problems which reduces their life expectancy. If people opt for healthier meals, they will be more fitter. In order to solve this problem, government agencies need to increase tax levies on food products classified as unhealthy and also ingredients that are used in making them. For instance, a sugar tax bill was proposed in the United Kingdom on food and drinks for children so that they can opt for healthier options like fruits and vegetables. In addition, public awareness campaign should be done to sensitize the public about the dangers of consuming junk. This has affected the mindset of people as they become increasingly aware of the problems unhealthy eating habits bring. In conclusion, government intervention is crucial in reducing the amount of fast food being eaten by people. Since the well-being of the nation is important, steps should be taken to address this issue. Tax bills and awareness campaigns are ways to begin.
Health is integral to every individual and the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and reports have shown that there is a surge in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggling with their well-being due to the consumption of junk.
As a result
of this, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the legislature needs to intervene by controlling unhealthy eating habits. I will support my view with strong arguments and examples.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are attractive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
due to its ready-to-eat nature and affordability.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the ingredients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in preparing them are harmful to the body in large intake.
For example
, obesity, which is on the rise in the United States of America is
as a result
of eating fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and fizzy drinks in enormous quantity. Obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle with daily activities and recurring health problems which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their life expectancy. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt for healthier meals, they will be
Use only "fitter" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more fitter
.

In order to solve this problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies need to increase tax levies on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products classified as unhealthy and
also
ingredients that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in making them.
For instance
, a sugar tax bill
was proposed
in the United Kingdom on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can opt for healthier options like fruits and vegetables.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness campaign should
be done
to sensitize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of consuming junk. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they become
increasingly
aware of the problems unhealthy eating habits bring.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
intervention is crucial in reducing the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
being eaten
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since the well-being of the nation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, steps should
be taken
to address this issue. Tax bills and awareness campaigns are ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 107 v. 48

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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