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Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 word v.3

Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? Write at least 250 word v. 3
Over the past few decades, it has become possible to commute and work in different parts of the world due to the convenient transportation modes provided by the modern technological methods. Advantages of this advancement are comparatively more as compared to the disadvantages. To embark upon, there are various advantages of technological advancements. By travelling to other countries, people get the opportunity to visit new places and discover the other parts of the world. For example, people travelling from East to the Western part of the world can come to know various aspects of culture, tradition, values, language and many more. This can enhance their knowledge and experience when meeting new people. In addition to this, it would also benefit the other countries in terms of meeting the shortage of skilled professionals. If there is a requirement of professionals with specific skills in a country, it can hire skilled and experienced professionals from other country. For example, health professionals such as doctors and nurses are often relocating to other countries for meeting the skill shortage in those countries. On the other hand, one of the disadvantages of modern means of communication and technology is that it has widened the distance between family relationships. If a person has travelled far from his home, it is not possible for him to meet his family members face to face. Due to this reason, he can only talk to them using software such as Skype via video calling or through phone. It can be argued that though there are disadvantages of working and living in other countries but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages since this benefits both the person who is moving and also the country which is hiring that person.
Over the past few decades, it has become possible to commute and work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world due to the convenient transportation modes provided by the modern technological methods. Advantages of this advancement are
comparatively
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the disadvantages.

To embark upon, there are various advantages of technological advancements. By travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to visit new places and discover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling from East to the Western part of the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know various aspects of culture, tradition, values, language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. This can enhance their knowledge and experience when meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In addition
to this, it would
also
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in terms of meeting the shortage of skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
. If there is a requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
with specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it can hire skilled and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
such as doctors and nurses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
relocating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for meeting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
shortage in those countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, one of the disadvantages of modern means of communication and technology is that it has widened the distance between family relationships. If a person has travelled far from his home, it is not possible for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his family members face to face. Due to this reason, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talk to them using software such as Skype via video calling or through phone.

It can
be argued
that though there are disadvantages of working and living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages since
Did you mean "these"?
this
benefits both the person who is moving and
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is hiring that person.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages? Write at least 250 word v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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