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Topic In the past most people used to travel to their place of work With increased use of computers the internet and smart phones more and more people are starting work from home What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development v.1

Topic In the past most people used to travel to their place of work With increased use of computers the internet and smart phones more and more people are starting work from home What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development v. 1
Economic development is the major target for most of the governments. But many people are under the impression that advancements in other fields are also very important for a nation. Economic development is the reason a county would have increased jobs, but cultural growth is also important for a better and satisfied life. A country’s economy is an important factor for the ruling bodies, because it directly relates to the creation of jobs and development of the nation. When the economy grows, there is more money in the market for real estate development, growth of small scale industries and multinational companies. This leads to the creation of new jobs in the market, for the youth. For example, if everyone has a job there will be less people dependent on government provided food banks or money. Although the growing economy is good for a country, many people believe that other fields cannot be neglected. One such field is richness of art and architecture, which is essential for the people to have a sense of belonging. For instance, India has protected its monuments which are not only making the country culturally rich, but is also increasing tourism in the country. This has enhanced satisfaction in everyone’s life because it has added a sense of pride, for one’s country. In conclusion, while the major target of the government of a country is to achieve better economy, few people believe that development should also follow in other fields as well. In my opinion, to grow as a nation, we should be progressive in all the areas that affect life on a day to day basis. Economic development is important for monetary benefit, whereas cultural development is essential to satisfy the soul of a nation.
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is the major target for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under the impression that advancements in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is the reason a county would have increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cultural growth is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a better and satisfied life.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor for the ruling bodies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
directly
relates to the creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
grows, there is more money in the market for real estate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, growth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale industries and multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. This leads to the creation of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the market, for the youth.
For example
, if everyone has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dependent on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provided food banks or money.

Although the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
cannot
be neglected
. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is richness of art and architecture, which is essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a sense of belonging.
For instance
, India has protected its monuments which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culturally
rich,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
increasing tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This has enhanced satisfaction in everyone’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
a sense of pride, for one’s country.

In conclusion
, while the major target of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is to achieve better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
should
also
follow in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
as well
. In my opinion, to grow as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, we should be progressive in all the areas that affect life on a
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
basis. Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for monetary benefit, whereas cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is essential to satisfy the soul of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic In the past most people used to travel to their place of work With increased use of computers the internet and smart phones more and more people are starting work from home What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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