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Topic: In some countries, it is illegal if employers reject someone because of his or her age. Do you think this is a negative or positive development? v.1

Topic: In some countries, it is illegal if employers reject someone because of his or her age. Do you think this is a negative or positive development? v. 1
Educational institutions have to train the students in various study topics such as science, math, language, arts and history among others in order to prepare the learners to be able to survive in the competitive world. Whilst on the other hand, there is another pool of thought which contemplates that the focus should be laid more upon developing the career-oriented abilities. Both the aspects are discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs along with presenting my opinion on the matter. Studying subjects like history; which provide an insight into the ancient rulers, their achievements and failures, does not just impart knowledge related to the past, but also proves to be advantageous in terms of students becoming well aware of the significant facts that had happened years ago and still hold relevance. Since, every generation has a moral and social responsibility of passing on the share of knowledge to the next generation, the role played by educational institutions becomes even more vital as the children get to know in their curriculum the events occurred in their own countries as well as in the world. Nevertheless, the notion that, the youngsters need to be skilled right from the beginning so that they are able to secure employment when they finish their studies, cannot be upright rejected. As the cut throat competition requires the job seekers to be possessing several skills, the candidates may feel under confident if they are not rightly trained. This is proved by a study conducted at Columbia University, wherein a survey conducted with over hundred industrial organizations demonstrated that the employers prefer candidates who possess basic knowledge, if not sophisticated acumen, in the domain of work. Pondering upon what has been discussed above, it will be more prudent to conclude that both theoretical as well as vocational subjects serve a different purpose, and hence, both are important in the coursework of children.
Educational institutions
have to
train the students in various study topics such as science, math, language, arts and history among others in order to prepare the learners to be able to survive in the competitive world. Whilst
on the other hand
, there is another pool of
thought
which contemplates that the focus should
be laid
more upon developing the career-oriented abilities. Both the aspects
are discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs along with presenting my opinion on the matter.

Studying subjects like history; which provide an insight into the ancient rulers, their achievements and failures, does not
just
impart knowledge related to the past,
but
also
proves to be advantageous in terms of students becoming well aware of the significant facts that had happened years ago and
still
hold relevance. Since, every generation has a moral and social responsibility of passing on the share of knowledge to the
next
generation, the role played by educational institutions becomes even more vital as the children
get
to know in their curriculum the
events
occurred in their
own
countries
as well
as in the world.

Nevertheless
, the notion that, the youngsters need to
be skilled
right from the beginning
so
that they are able to secure employment when they finish their studies, cannot be upright rejected. As the
cut throat
competition requires the job seekers to
be possessing
several
skills
, the candidates may feel under confident if they are not
rightly
trained. This
is proved
by a study conducted at Columbia University, wherein a survey conducted with over hundred industrial organizations demonstrated that the employers prefer candidates who possess basic knowledge, if not sophisticated acumen, in the domain of work.

Pondering upon what has
been discussed
above, it will be more prudent
to conclude
that both theoretical
as well as
vocational subjects serve a
different
purpose, and
hence
, both are
important
in the coursework of children.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Topic: In some countries, it is illegal if employers reject someone because of his or her age. Do you think this is a negative or positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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