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Speaking topic in text: Mary Dixon, Director of the Student Life Committee, announced yesterday that beginning next semester university cafeterias will broadcast classical music during mealtimes. “Music will foster a more relaxed atmosphere. ” Said Dixon, v.1

Speaking topic in text: Mary Dixon, Director of the Student Life Committee, announced yesterday that beginning next semester university cafeterias will broadcast classical music during mealtimes. “Music will foster a more relaxed atmosphere. ” Said Dixon, v. 1
Nowadays, the hight purchases of some articles represent the role of advertising, instead of the real needs of the population. I totally agree, people tend to buy what they see on TV than their necessity. In this essay, I will discuss both parts of the question and give several reasons to support my point-view. First of all, publicity has an important place in our daily life. In fact, they almost dict what we should buy by showing a new product and brands. Indeed, generally, media are the sponsorship of logos in exhange of 10% of their sells. Consequently, they diffuse all the day advertising to in the product in the consumer's mind. For instance, many channels for children, such as Disney Channel included on their publicity toys and snacks because offsprings are the most vulnerable. These kind of marketing favourise certain brands than others and influence people to buy only a category of goods. Therefore, people should give less importance to the media. Moreover, people tend to forget to buy essential needs, such as fruits and vegetables. In fact, because of promotion given by some logos, they forget to buy vital products. However, alternative goods cannot take the place of an original one. In another word, industrial food does not have the same quality than a natural nutriment which is rich in minerals and vitamins. For example, an industrial cake does not have the same than the home-made one because of the additives and conservatives added to the product. By promoting this kind of goods people buy unneeded object and food. In conclusion, the media play an important role in the way people purchase every day. They orient them to buy not necessary goods by promoting their partnership products. I am sure that if it is managed in the right way, the negative aspect could be outwheight.
Nowadays, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
articles represent the role of advertising,
instead
of the real needs of the population. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV than their necessity. In this essay, I will discuss both parts of the question and give several reasons to support my point-view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, publicity has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in our daily life. In fact, they almost dict what we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
by showing a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and brands.
Indeed
,
generally
, media are the sponsorship of logos in
Possible spelling mistake found.
exhange
of 10% of their sells.
Consequently
, they diffuse all the day advertising to in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the consumer's mind.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
channels for children, such as Disney Channel included on their publicity toys and snacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
are the most vulnerable.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of marketing
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourise
certain brands than others and influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give less importance to the media.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to forget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
essential needs, such as fruits and vegetables. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of promotion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logos, they forget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
However
, alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
cannot take the place of an original one. In another word, industrial food does not have the same
Use "(quality)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
quality
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
than
a natural nutriment which is rich in minerals and vitamins.
For example
, an industrial cake does not have the same
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
than
the home-made one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the additives and conservatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. By promoting this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unneeded object and food.

In conclusion
, the media play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
every day. They orient them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
not necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
by promoting their partnership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I am sure that if it
is managed
in the right way, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
outwheight
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Speaking topic in text: Mary Dixon, Director of the Student Life Committee, announced yesterday that beginning next semester university cafeterias will broadcast classical music during mealtimes. “Music will foster a more relaxed atmosphere. ” Said Dixon, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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