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If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v.1

If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1
The growing presence of the global warming is a pressing concern today. Some international authorities have taken some actions in order to prevent the causes of global warming over the past several years. However, I believe that it will not be enough as the global warming is a serious case. From my point of view, governments should be more involved in this process of preventing the possible causes of the global warming. Besides, they should also make some annual adjustments to their policies since the causes and the effects of the global warming can be changed over time. First of all, in this present world, many people die due to air pollution, which is one of the reasons of the global warming. Therefore, governments should be aware of the increasing number of cars on the road which leads to an increase in the levels of carbon dioxide, which is causing not only global warming but also death of many people. Thus, it is argued that the governments should take some actions in order to slow down the global warming process. Secondly, global warming puts many species in danger of extinction as it destroys their habitats by causing environmental problems such as droughts and floods. In fact, some studies have shown that many endangered species are going to extinct in the near future if nothing is done. Therefore, it is clear that the governments should be more involved in coping with the global warming. Besides, it is a must for the authorities to follow the recent news in global warming process. Otherwise, it would be unlikely for them to be able to prevent global warming in the most efficient way. To sum up, global warming is one of the environmental problems in today’s world and this problem is causing many livings to die. After a thorough analysis of the main adverse effects of the global warming, it is concluded that the governments should be more involved in slowing down the global warming in order to save many lives.
The growing presence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is a pressing concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
international authorities have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
over the past several years.
However
, I believe that it will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is a serious case. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be more involved in this process of preventing the possible causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
Besides
, they should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
annual adjustments to their policies since the causes and the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over time.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this present world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to air pollution, which is one of the reasons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be aware of the increasing number of cars on the road which leads to an increase in the levels of carbon dioxide, which is causing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, it
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions in order to slow down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
process.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
their habitats by causing environmental problems such as droughts and floods. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies have shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
endangered species are going to extinct in the near future if nothing
is done
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be more involved in coping with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
Besides
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for the authorities to follow the recent news in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
process.
Otherwise
, it would be unlikely for them to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
in the most efficient way.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is one of the environmental problems in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world and this problem is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
livings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. After a thorough analysis of the main adverse effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, it
is concluded
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be more involved in slowing down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
in order to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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