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TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v.2

TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 2
Some people just like the security of their current lifestyle and dread taking risks, on the contrast others find life meaningless without exploring new things. I personally believe that every individual should give the chance of trying new things to himself. First, it is indisputable that without trying new things and venturing, today’s world would not have gone this far. All these innovations and achievements have happened because our ancestors dared to try new things. For example, airplanes would have not been created, if some ancients had not given flying a try. Meanwhile, no one can enhance his personal life by being satisfied with the current situation and remaining static. Enriching life, thriving in job, and so forth demand some spirit and courage. Second, some people repel new things as they are likely to be risky or hurtful. I do not deny it, but we should accept that nothing in this world is for sure, every single action or situation is accompanied by some challenges and risks, even our present state. For instance, one who persists in maintaining his current stable position in a firm might unexpectedly get fired from work, and, consequently, this would affect all aspects of his life, although he did not want to. Life always has its surprises and risks anyhow, so it is better to use the variety of our life, before it astounds us. Third, a new experience may turn to our surprise very good. Seeking new experiences may either represent various opportunities or unearth valuable talents. To illustrate, during childhood, I mastered gymnastic. Nevertheless, I took part in variety of sports classes which led me to this conclusion that I am gifted in swimming, which I could have not known this if I had not given it a go. To sum it up, I believe we should explore life further by taking wise risks and considering that even our present spot might hurt us, too. Otherwise, advancement would stop, and we would never get to find new opportunities and our own talents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the security of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle and dread taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
, on the contrast others find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
meaningless without exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. I
personally
believe that every individual should give the chance of trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things to himself.

First
, it is indisputable that without trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and venturing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world would not have gone this far. All these innovations and achievements have happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our ancestors dared to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
For example
, airplanes would have not
been created
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ancients had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
flying a try. Meanwhile, no one can enhance his personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by
being satisfied
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and remaining static. Enriching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, thriving in job, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spirit and courage.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
repel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things as they are likely to be risky or hurtful. I do not deny it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should accept that nothing in this world is for sure, every single action or situation
is accompanied
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
, even our present state.
For instance
, one who persists in maintaining his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
stable position in a firm might
unexpectedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fired from work, and,
consequently
, this would affect all aspects of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, although he did not want to.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
always has its surprises and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
anyhow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the variety of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it astounds us.

Third, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience may turn to our surprise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences may either represent various opportunities or unearth valuable talents. To illustrate, during childhood, I mastered gymnastic.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in variety of sports classes which led me to this conclusion that I
am gifted
in swimming, which I could have not known this if I had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
it a go.

To sum it up, I believe we should explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
further
by taking wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and considering that even our present spot might hurt us, too.
Otherwise
, advancement would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, and we would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities and our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay TOPIC # 50 Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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