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TOPIC 4: Personal vehicles should be illegal, and everyone should be forced to use public transportation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

TOPIC 4: Personal vehicles should be illegal, and everyone should be forced to use public transportation. v. 2
In order to use public transportation as a compulsory means for travel, ban personal vehicles is considered as the best choice for government. Although this measure may work well for this purpose, some problems are triggered by this method is inevitable. Public transports, which leads to a better environment is just created by the unanimity of the whole society. To get the consensus of every individual in the society, the regulation for the public transit using is necessary. Therefore, the ban of personal transports: private cars or private moto bikes are the reasonable method which orients people to use public transports also reduces the gas emission. For instant, Singapore, which reduces its greenhouse gas released because of the rise of using public transits, is one of the cleanest cities in the world. Additionally, because of the reduction in gas release, the environment receives a better air condition. Subsequently, the whole society changes the transport-used habits will be overwhelming if there is a lack of a heaviness compulsory measure towards personal transports. Nevertheless, the ban on personal means of movement apparently violates the privacy and freedom as well as causes inconvenience to people’s movement. Obviously, the compulsory transportation will violate the privacy and freedom of a human which are basic needs of each human according to Maslow’s needs hierarchy, clearly regulates in the civil law of each nation. Furthermore, this infringement also results in the inconvenient travel. Despite the government can plan very detailed transporting schedule for the public transport system, they still do not customize the schedule to each individual’s needs. Thus, the conflict between the real needs of users and the travel schedule of the public means is apparently unavoidable. In conclusion, the compulsory towards personal transports, which may appear as a good measure to encourage the whole nation use the public transports, may infringe to the privacy and freedom of the people. Hence, instead of forcing people, the government should spend a relative budget to educate people about the detrimental effects of personal transports and improve the public transport system beforehand.
In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
means for travel, ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
vehicles
is considered
as the best choice for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Although this measure may work well for this purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
are triggered
by this method is inevitable.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, which leads to a better environment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
created by the unanimity of the whole society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the consensus of every individual in the society, the regulation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit using is necessary.
Therefore
, the ban of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
: private cars or private
Possible spelling mistake found.
moto
bikes are the reasonable method which orients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the gas emission. For instant, Singapore, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
its greenhouse gas released
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rise of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transits, is one of the cleanest cities in the world.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reduction in gas release, the environment receives a better air condition.
Subsequently
, the whole society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the transport-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
habits will be overwhelming if there is a lack of a heaviness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
measure towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
transports.

Nevertheless
, the ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
means of movement
apparently
violates the privacy and freedom
as well
as causes inconvenience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
movement.
Obviously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
transportation will violate the privacy and freedom of a human which are basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of each human according to Maslow’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
hierarchy,
clearly
regulates in the civil law of each nation.
Furthermore
, this infringement
also
results in the inconvenient travel. Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detailed transporting schedule for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system, they
still
do not customize the schedule to each individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Thus
, the conflict between the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of users and the travel schedule of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means is
apparently
unavoidable.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, which may appear as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measure to encourage the whole nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, may infringe to the privacy and freedom of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
,
instead
of forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend a relative budget to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the detrimental effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system beforehand.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC 4: Personal vehicles should be illegal, and everyone should be forced to use public transportation. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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