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TOPIC # 36 Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. (Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes) v.1

TOPIC # 36 Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. (Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes) v. 1
It has been opined by some people that global efforts are needed to tackle environmental issues, others believe that the problems should be dealt with nationally. Am of the view that global efforts are needed to deal with the various environmental problems. The rationale for both views will be discussed in this essay. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some people, including me, is of the view that environmental issues should be dealt with internationally. One reason is due to transcended impact this problem have globally. The Environmental problems such as global warning, ozone layer depletion amongst others have been an issue in which when crystallized affects the whole planet. For instance, the ozone layer has been known to be a protective sheet which protects the earth from the direct impact of the ultra-violent rays of the sun, if perhaps this covering gets destroyed due to human activities, the resultant effect is that all people on earth will feel the direct impact of the sun which will lead to death, cancer amongst others. Another rationale to further justify the fact that consensus global efforts is needed to solve environmental issues is due to the enormous financial resources needed to solve this issue. The resources which can be in the form of cost of creating awareness, putting in place certain controls amongst others are so huge that it might be difficult for a single nation to bear such cost that will yield great results. Conversely, a major rationale why some people believe that the best way to deal with these problems nationally is based on the fact that the nation that creates or contributes more to the problems should be the one to solve its problems. It has been argued that for good results to be achieved, each nation must take necessary measures to deal with the problems in-house, and this individual effort will all contribute indirectly to solving the global problems. For example, at the last United Nation General Assembly, the President of United States reaffirmed this by stating that the national efforts as against internationally dependencies is the best way to deal with the various environmental issues worldwide. This example further justifies the need for national efforts to dealing with environmental issues. In conclusion, Although some people are of the opinion that global efforts are needed to solve environmental problems, others believe that the most effective way is to deal with this internally. In my opinion, i think that a global effort is needed to deal effectively with this issue. The reasons for both views have been discussed in this essay.
It has
been opined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
be dealt
with
nationally
. Am of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The rationale for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
will
be discussed
in this essay.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including me, is of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
should
be dealt
with
internationally
. One reason is due to transcended impact this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
have globally. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warning, ozone layer depletion amongst others have been an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in which when crystallized affects the whole planet.
For instance
, the ozone layer has
been known
to be a protective sheet which protects the earth from the direct impact of the ultra-violent rays of the sun, if perhaps this covering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
due to human activities, the resultant effect is that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on earth will feel the direct impact of the sun which will lead to death, cancer amongst others. Another rationale to
further
justify the fact that consensus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is due to the enormous financial resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. The resources which can be in the form of cost of creating awareness, putting in place certain controls amongst others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
huge that it might be difficult for a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to bear such cost that will yield great results.

Conversely
, a major rationale why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
nationally
is based
on the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
that creates or contributes more to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should be the one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It has
been argued
that for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results to
be achieved
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take necessary measures to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and this individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
will all contribute
indirectly
to solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, at the last United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
General Assembly, the President
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United States".
of United States
reaffirmed this by stating that the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
as against
internationally
dependencies is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
worldwide. This example
further
justifies the need for national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

In conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, others believe that the most effective way is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with this
internally
. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
effectively
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. The reasons for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
have
been discussed
in this essay.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC # 36 Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. (Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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