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The idea of space travel is fantastic these days and scientists are very fascinated towards it. However, there are many environmental problems in our planet that we should resolve first before considering space travel that would cost a significant sum. Wh v.1

The idea of space travel is fantastic these days and scientists are very fascinated towards it. However, there are many environmental problems in our planet that we should resolve first before considering space travel that would cost a significant sum. Wh v. 1
Nowadays, many people are having health related issues due to stress. In this essay, we will discuss about the problem associated with stress and the possible solution to be implemented to overcome this emerging concern. First of all, the primary reason for a stress is due to the financial difficulties faced among the majority of the people. Furthermore, most of the salaried people do not possess the knowledge to manage their own income and expenses, which leads to more and more financial complications. For example, quality education requires expensive tuition fees in most of the schools which cannot be compromised by the father to educate their own children. Due to the increased quality nature of the lifestyle, huge demand in spending from an individual which directly leads to the financial stress. On the other hand, stress can be handled through meditation, yoga and exercise. In addition, exercising for 30 minutes per day will burn around five hundred calories and release dopamine from our body, which will boost our positive energy and increase the motivation level. Highly motivated people will have a clear focus on their daily activities and a better control over their life, practicing exercise on a daily basis will make the man perfect. For instance, a recent study conducted by the Men's health magazine revealed that 70% of the people frequently visiting health club are always feeling motivated and not experiencing stress in their daily life, thus, working out will lead to positivity and eradicate stress from our life. To conclude, instead of stuck between a rock and hard place people should focus on solving the impediments. Overall, we discussed about the stress related issues and the solution to overcome those problems.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having health related issues due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. In this essay, we will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
problem associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and the possible solution to
be implemented
to overcome this emerging concern.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the primary reason for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is due to the financial difficulties faced among the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, most of the salaried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not possess the knowledge to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income and expenses, which leads to more and more financial complications.
For example
, quality education requires expensive tuition fees in most of the schools which cannot
be compromised
by the father to educate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children. Due to the increased quality nature of the lifestyle, huge demand in spending from an individual which
directly
leads to the financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
can
be handled
through meditation, yoga and exercise.
In addition
, exercising for 30 minutes per day will burn around five hundred calories and release dopamine from our body, which will boost our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy and increase the motivation level.
Highly
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
focus on their daily activities and a better control over their life, practicing exercise on a daily basis will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
perfect.
For instance
, a recent study conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
's health magazine revealed that 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
frequently
visiting health club are always feeling motivated and not experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in their daily life,
thus
, working out will lead to positivity and eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
from our life.

To conclude
,
instead
of stuck between a rock and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus on solving the impediments.
Overall
, we
Did you mean simply "discussed the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related issues and the solution to overcome those problems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The idea of space travel is fantastic these days and scientists are very fascinated towards it. However, there are many environmental problems in our planet that we should resolve first before considering space travel that would cost a significant sum. Wh v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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