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Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher than in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v.1

Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher than in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v. 1
The majority of the nations are suffering with offences in cities rather than in villages, Because of the unemployment, illiteracy and more population. Of Course, nations have solutions to reduce this felony rate. As my opinion, giving the awareness to the public about the consequences of the destruction and importance of the family by conducting the counsels or meetings. Firstly, most of the administrations are failing to give the employment and good education to the public, Due to that wrongdoings are increasing in cities. Moreover, family members are also not giving the right directions to their children because of their poorness. For Instance, our country is in second place in population. So, giving free education and employment to everyone is not possible because of that rapists, thefts and so on are increasing day by day in cities in our country. So, by conducting the counsellings to the public and giving the support to them by the regime most of the crime rate will be reduced. Secondly, In the countryside the people are so sentimental that means the affection, love and most of the emotions will come between the relatives. So, any problems will come between them, they will only get solved. In Conclusion, In my point of view, every nation suffering with this problem, But for every problem there is a solution. So, for this problem is also we have so many solutions, but it is important to apply that. When the countries will come forward to take daring decisions to apply, then only breach rates will completely eradicate.
The majority of the nations are suffering with
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
in cities
rather
than in villages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the unemployment, illiteracy and more population.
Of Course
, nations have solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this felony rate. As my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
the awareness to the public about the consequences of the destruction and importance of the family by conducting the counsels or meetings.

Firstly
, most of the administrations are failing to give the employment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education to the public, Due to that wrongdoings are increasing in cities.
Moreover
, family members are
also
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
the right directions to their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their poorness.
For Instance
, our country is in second place in population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
free education and employment to everyone is not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that rapists, thefts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are increasing day by day in cities in our country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by conducting the
Possible spelling mistake found.
counsellings
to the public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
the support to them by the regime most of the crime rate will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Secondly
, In the countryside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sentimental that means the affection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and most of the emotions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
between the relatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
between them, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
solved.

In Conclusion
, In my point of view, every nation suffering with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
there is a solution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
also
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to apply that. When the countries will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to take daring decisions to apply, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
breach rates will completely eradicate.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher than in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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