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Too much money is wasted on repairing old buildings that should be used to knock them down and build new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Too much money is wasted on repairing old buildings that should be used to knock them down and build new ones. v. 1
Nowadays there have been so much money spent to repair old buildings. But I think instead of repairing them, they should be broken & new buildings should be built. There is a clear evidence that day by day so many buildings are turning into abandoned wastages in city areas which are causing harm to the environment of the places. Moreover, many people are living in those old buildings & that is risking their life severely. To keep them risk-free at a minimum rate, the building owners are somehow initiating some construction works to repair those buildings. But such a temporary step can never be a perfect solution to the main problem. As there is a chance that outworn buildings might face major collapses anytime without giving any pre-notice. That will lead to a massive accident. Such an issue can be solved by building new ones rather than repairing the old ones. The repairing process of old buildings will waste a lot of money & cause huge environmental pollution as well. Mostly that step won't bring in any positive outcome. On the other hand, new buildings can provide enough security to the people living there. Furthermore, that will turn into a permanent solution to the dwelling situation of many people. Money will be properly utilized in that process too. Additionally, there have been so many modern architectural innovations taken place in the modern world. The new buildings can get the touch of such innovation & become a significant piece of beauty. To summarize, repairing old buildings instead of building new ones doesn't look like a good idea at all. Therefore, I personally believe building new ones are a better approach than repairing the old ones.
Nowadays there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money spent to repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
them, they should
be broken
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be built
.

There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are turning into abandoned
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastages
in city areas which are causing harm to the environment of the places.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
&
that is
risking their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
severely
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-free at a minimum rate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
owners are somehow initiating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
construction works to repair those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
such a temporary step can never be a perfect solution to the main problem.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
there is a chance that outworn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
might face major collapses anytime without giving any
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-notice
. That will lead to a massive accident.

Such an issue can
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
will waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money & cause huge environmental pollution
as well
.
Mostly
that step won't bring in any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
security to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living there.
Furthermore
, that will turn into a permanent solution to the dwelling situation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Money will be
properly
utilized in that process too.
Additionally
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern architectural innovations taken place in the modern world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the touch of such innovation & become a significant piece of beauty.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
doesn't look like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
at all.
Therefore
, I
personally
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are a better approach than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repairing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Too much money is wasted on repairing old buildings that should be used to knock them down and build new ones. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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