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With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will became a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree? v.7

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will became a thing of the past. v. 7
The internet has opened new doors for instant communication. No matter how far you are from your loved ones physically, you can connect with them in a few seconds. Because of this reason, it is becoming more and more popular. Some people fear that this would terminate the physical conversations between humans. I, however, disagree with this view. Firstly, it helps people maintain their personal relationships. These days multiple students, employees go to different nations for their studies or jobs. The web helps them to keep in touch with their friends and family irrespective of the physical distance. For example, when my boyfriend went to the USA, we stayed connected over VoIP or video calls. Secondly, it helps people with their businesses. Globalisation has allowed multiple firms to use each other's services. It is not possible for them to be at the same place every time. But, with the help of the cyber space businesses, can interact and share their opinions instantly over Skype, hangouts etc. On the other hand, people with the opposite view tend to forget that human beings are social animals. They need to have close relationships to survive. Humans need physical proximity, conversation to fulfil their psychological and emotional need of being loved. The internet was developed to help them in maintaining close relationships and not ruining them. Like always, people will continue to organize small functions or parties to interact with new people. All a person needs is to love someone, then there will be face to face interactions and videos calls over the web as well. In conclusion, the internet helps in connecting physically distant people and because of the emotional needs poses no threat to the physical communication. Till the time humankind knows how to love, it will keep on sharing knowledge, proximities over one or the other channel.
The internet has opened new doors for instant communication. No matter how far you are from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
physically
, you can connect with them in a few seconds.
Because of this
reason, it is becoming more and more popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fear that this would terminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
conversations between humans. I,
however
, disagree with this view.

Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain their personal relationships. These days multiple students, employees go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations for their studies or jobs. The web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and family irrespective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
distance.
For example
, when my boyfriend went to the USA, we stayed connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
VoIP or video calls.
Secondly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their businesses.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
multiple firms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
each other's services. It is not possible for them to be at the same place every time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the cyber space businesses, can interact and share their opinions
instantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
Skype, hangouts etc.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the opposite view tend to forget that human beings are social animals. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have close relationships to survive. Humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
proximity, conversation to fulfil their psychological and emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
. The internet
was developed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in maintaining close relationships and not ruining them. Like always,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue to organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
functions or parties to interact with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. All a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
someone, then there will be face to face interactions and videos calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the web
as well
.

In conclusion
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in connecting
physically
distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
poses no threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
communication. Till the time humankind knows how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on sharing knowledge,
Possible spelling mistake found.
proximities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
one or the other channel.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will became a thing of the past. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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