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TOEFL SPEAKING TASK 5: The male student want to practice basketball in winter but the gym is closed. v.1

TOEFL SPEAKING TASK 5: The male student want to practice basketball in winter but the gym is closed. v. 1
It is an opinion of a few individuals that teaching the native literature and history of their nation is highly significant, instead of gaining the same knowledge of other nations. In my perspective, every nation has its contribution at the global platform, so it is equally crucial to learn native and global literature and history. An individual should learn about their culture, literature and what they were in the past and how they have developed themselves. It has been observed that if a person learns about his nation, he always has loyalty towards his motherland. He will always look forward to contribute in his economy and work for the welfare of his society. According to a recent research, people who have knowledge about their native language and history are trusted 55% more at the global platform due to their honesty and love towards their motherland. However, sometimes patriotism makes the situation worse as well. So there must be a balance in patriotism and humanity. Todays' world is totally different from the past because we are witnessing a global contribution by every nation to boost and build a robust economy. Thus, when a person knows about other nations ethics, language and their past, it has become easy for him to work in different countries. For instance, to get a job in English speaking countries, it is mandatory to get a satisfied score in IELTS exam. When we understand other communities it has become an easy job for us to relocate there. I believe in future people will learn different languages and world history to seek for global employment. To conclude, grasping knowledge about our country and literature is beneficial to understand our roots, but it is equally significant to learn about another language and history of different nations.
It is an opinion of a few individuals that teaching the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is
highly
significant,
instead
of gaining the same knowledge of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. In my perspective, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has its contribution at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
equally
crucial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
native and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and history.

An individual should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about their culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and what they were in the past and how they have developed themselves. It has
been observed
that if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, he always has loyalty towards his motherland. He will always look forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to contributing".
to contribute
in his economy and work for the welfare of his society. According to a recent research,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have knowledge about their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
are trusted
55% more at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
platform due to their honesty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards their motherland.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
patriotism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the situation worse
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance in patriotism and humanity.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
' world is
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are witnessing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
contribution by every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to boost and build a robust economy.
Thus
, when a person knows about other
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
ethics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and their past, it has become easy for him to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
countries, it is mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a satisfied score in IELTS exam. When we understand other communities it has become an easy job for us to relocate there. I believe in future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
to seek for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
employment.

To conclude
, grasping knowledge about our country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is beneficial to understand our roots,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
equally
significant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TOEFL SPEAKING TASK 5: The male student want to practice basketball in winter but the gym is closed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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