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Some students prefer to work on class assignments by themselves. Other believe it is better to work in a group. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

Some students prefer to work on class assignments by themselves. Other believe it is better to work in a group. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
It has been a raging debate whether an individual should have to travel to foreign countries to learn their culture or not over a last decade. In this highly competitive era of globalization travelling is an easy and fast compare to the past. I strongly agree with the notion that it is not mandatory by travelling the host countries we can learn their culture better. There are ample reasons which are supporting this arguments. First of all, nowadays using modern technology like the internet and films an individual can learn different countries, cultural by one click on their computers or mobile phones. For instance, Last year when I was planning to visit Japan before that I search some popular tourist places, pilgrimage places, traditional foods, basic language and so on. When I reached there I won't get any difficulty to explore such places. Secondly, we can know foreign culture their language by reading books or from someone who know it better. Thirdly, in today's highly modern technology era where hundreds of films are made on various subjects like rituals, traditions, drama, and so on. On the other hand, many people believe that we can learn others countries culture, traditions by living with them. They also add that one can communicate with local dwellers know their beliefs, history, festivals and so on. Moreover, eating their food, wearing their tradition cloths give us a sense of belongingness. By doing such a thing one can easily comfortable with the native people. In conclusion, I do admit that living with foreign individuals in their countries provide a real life atmosphere, but today's individual does not have time to specially visit various countries for learning their culture.
It has been a raging debate whether an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or not over a last decade. In this
highly
competitive era of globalization travelling is an easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
compare to the past. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that it is not mandatory by travelling the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
better.

There are ample reasons which are supporting
Did you mean "these"?
this
arguments.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, nowadays using modern technology like the internet and films an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, cultural by one click on their computers or mobile phones.
For instance
, Last year when I was planning to visit Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that I search
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
popular tourist places, pilgrimage places, traditional foods, basic language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I reached there I won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any difficulty to explore such places.
Secondly
, we can know foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
their language by reading books or from someone who know it better.
Thirdly
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
highly
modern technology era where hundreds of films
are made
on various subjects like rituals, traditions, drama, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, traditions by living with them. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that one can communicate with local dwellers know their beliefs, history, festivals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Moreover
, eating their food, wearing their tradition cloths give us a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
belongingness
. By doing such a thing one can
easily
comfortable with the native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I do admit that living with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide a real life atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
does not have time to
specially
visit various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for learning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students prefer to work on class assignments by themselves. Other believe it is better to work in a group. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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