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Modern scientist need specialist in certain fields not in others. Some people think that government should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Modern scientist need specialist in certain fields not in others. Some people think that government should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Some people claim that pupils who choose areas that are essential for the community should get state authority's support. This essay will argue that the disadvantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, I personally believe that all students must be valued equally and all humans have the right to earn funds to continue their learning. Although, the government funding has encouraged scholars to do research or higher study on a specific field they select, because without state helps they cannot carry out the cost of the investigation, but it should not be limited in specific fields that help the society. In other words, if the state government has signed this protocol, the literacy rate could have been decreased. This certainly affects the country's overall economy. Another demerit would be, the competition in job markets will increase for a specific job, and that must be raised the unemployment rank. For instance, when we get support in specific areas we will definitely continue to study those courses, so the majority of students will do. As a result, during a job search, there would be more people for a single vacancy, so many people will remain jobless. On the other hand, this scheme will bring few benefits to a specific discipline, such as, health care. As many people can get involved in this sector, this certainly helps to improve the services in hospitals and diagnostic centres. For example, sometimes we see that people in small cities do not get proper treatment due to specialist doctors. If scholars get ministry help to study in medical science, medical management in countries could have been developed. In conclusion, however, this approach has few merits, but it has more problems. Thus, I think the law should not be applied for just a few profits, which will cause many uprising dilemmas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that pupils who choose areas that are essential for the community should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
state authority's support. This essay will argue that the disadvantages of this outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, I
personally
believe that all students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be valued
equally
and all humans have the right to earn funds to continue their learning. Although, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding has encouraged scholars to do research or higher study on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
field they select,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
they cannot carry out the cost of the investigation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be limited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
fields that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the society.
In other words
, if the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has signed this protocol, the literacy rate could have
been decreased
. This
certainly
affects the country's
overall
economy. Another demerit would be, the competition in job markets will increase for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
job, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be raised
the unemployment rank.
For instance
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
areas we will definitely continue to study those courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the majority of students will do.
As a result
, during a job search, there would be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for a single vacancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will remain jobless.

On the other hand
, this scheme will bring few benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
discipline, such as, health care. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in this sector, this
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the services in hospitals and diagnostic
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
cities do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper treatment due to specialist doctors. If scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ministry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to study in medical science, medical management in countries could have
been developed
.

In conclusion
,
however
, this approach has few merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has more problems.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the law should not
be applied
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few profits, which will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
uprising dilemmas.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern scientist need specialist in certain fields not in others. Some people think that government should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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