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Overpopulation in most developing countries in Asia and Africa is a problem. If these countries do not try to control the population immediately, they will face serious problems. What are your suggestions to control population? v.1

Overpopulation in most developing countries in Asia and Africa is a problem. If these countries do not try to control the population immediately, they will face serious problems. What are your suggestions to control population? v. 1
The world already has an unendurable population and the highest percentages of them live in Asia and Africa. Poverty, corruption, pollution and diseases are epidemic in these parts of the world and the higher populace is the main reason for it. If the population in these two continents are not controlled, the problems would completely get out of hand and this essay suggests some ways of curbing the expansion of population. The terribly higher population density, poverty, unemployment and other social problems have already made it tough for Asian and African countries to progress and the increasing population growth makes the future even more uncertain there. Higher population in some developed countries are seen as a blessing while it is not the case in most of the Asian and African countries as most of their citizens are uneducated and unskilled. To control the population, the first step has to come from the government. The authority should restrict the number of children a family can have and violation of this policy should be severely punished. Countries like China have already adopted this policy and have been able to control their population to a certain extent. Besides, the citizens have to be aware of the negative effects of the uncontrolled population and spontaneously take the birth control measures. Without the support of the ordinary population, the government alone cannot control it. Above all, the international organisations like WHO, UNDP and other humanitarian organisation should work in these countries to educate people about the negative consequences of the higher population growth. Besides, they should provide funds for birth-control in these countries. In conclusion, the higher population in poor countries are the greatest threat and the main hindrance to the progress. The government, ordinary people and international organisations should work together to control the rapid population growth in these countries. Without a combination of policy, awareness and a free flow of fund, it would be impossible to help those countries control their population.
The world already has an unendurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and the highest percentages of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Asia and Africa. Poverty, corruption, pollution and diseases are epidemic in these parts of the world and the higher populace is the main reason for it. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in these two continents are not controlled, the problems would completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of hand and this essay suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways of curbing the expansion of population.

The
terribly
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
density, poverty, unemployment and other social problems have already made it tough for Asian and African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to progress and the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the future even more uncertain there. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a blessing while it is not the case in most of the Asian and African
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countries
as most of their citizens
are uneducated
and unskilled.

To
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control
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the
first
step
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The authority should restrict the number of children a family can have and violation of this policy should be
severely
punished.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
like China have already adopted this policy and have been able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
to a certain extent.
Besides
, the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the uncontrolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and
spontaneously
take the birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
measures. Without the support of the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
alone cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
it.
Above all
, the international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
like WHO,
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNDP
and other humanitarian
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
should work in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth.
Besides
, they should provide funds for birth-control in these countries.

In conclusion
, the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are the greatest threat and the main hindrance to the progress. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should work together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Without a combination of policy, awareness and a free flow of fund, it would be impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Overpopulation in most developing countries in Asia and Africa is a problem. If these countries do not try to control the population immediately, they will face serious problems. What are your suggestions to control population? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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