Nowadays, some people believe that the teenager years become the happiest years in all their life and some people think that the adults are happier than the teenager despite of more responsibilities. In this essay, correcting which idea will be discussed.
At first, young people said that the happiness is brought by achievement the their target. According to this information, researches show that they can easily happy because of catching up with their opponents when they discover and improve own different talents. For example, children study hard continuously until the university exam in order to pass it. They would feel glad when they were accepted to the university.
Although the adult life has a greater responsibilities, these responsibilities are the cause of the greatest happiness. Getting a promotion in business would be increased self-esteem and it allows you to get a prestige in your business life. In this manner, the people have a different feeling and cheerfulness. Also to put it another way, you would have more responsibility in business, but you would be feeling much better. For example, being a manager while working as a worker will change your status.
To sum up, people would be happy in different ways in different life stages. Young people are able to happy with less responsibility while the adults feel much better with more duty. I think the adult life is the happiest times in all people life thoungh the elderly person has a lot of obligations. The greatest achievements bring the greatest happiness.
Nowadays,
some
people
believe that the
teenager
years become the happiest years in all their
life
and
some
people
think
that the
adults
are happier than the
teenager
despite of
more
responsibilities
. In this essay, correcting which
idea
will
be discussed
.
At
first
, young
people
said that the happiness
is brought
by achievement
the their target
. According to this information, researches
show
that they can
easily
happy
because
of catching up with their opponents when they discover and
improve
own
different
talents.
For example
, children study
hard
continuously
until the university exam in order to pass it. They would feel glad when they were
accepted
to the university.
Although the adult
life
has a greater
responsibilities
, these
responsibilities
are the cause of the greatest happiness. Getting a promotion in business would
be increased
self-esteem and it
allows
you to
get
a prestige in your business
life
. In this manner, the
people
have a
different
feeling and cheerfulness.
Also
to put it another way, you would have more
responsibility
in business,
but
you would be feeling much better.
For example
, being a manager while working as a worker will
change
your status.
To sum up,
people
would be happy in
different
ways in
different
life
stages. Young
people
are able to happy with less
responsibility
while the
adults
feel much better with more duty. I
think
the adult
life
is the happiest times in all
people
life
thoungh
the elderly person has
a lot of
obligations. The greatest achievements bring the greatest happiness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes