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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. v. 3
People think teaching students the literature of their own country will be better instead of other countries. While I accept that students should be encouraged literature works of their own culture, I also believe that studying foreign literature is equally fundamental. On the one hand, when students are acquiring knowledge about their own culture by learning literature in their school, they are likely to enrich their knowledge and broaden their horizons about culture and tradition in their country. For instance, it helps locals improve their patriotism and feel take pride in their culture. Secondly, national literary works to give students an insight into their own culture. For example, through traditional literature, namely fairy tales, legends and fables, students can become familiar with their traditions, native terms and also national values which have been passed down from generation to generation. As a result, they will naturally develop a sense of national identity and patriotism. On the other hand, studying foreign literature is also advantageous for the following reasons. To begin with, it gives learners opportunities to expand their horizons by showing them a bigger picture of the outside world. Having access to foreign historical events and cultures, commentaries on politics, society, and stereotypes in literature from countries abroad will foster students’ awareness of the diversity of the world. Additionally, the students will be equipped with a broader range of knowledge to help them be more prepared for the globalized world that we are living in today. To be more specific, the students will have a grasp of the culture of foreign countries and how to adapt themselves in terms of manners, customs or behaviours if they live in that new environment or dealing with foreigners. In conclusion, it seems to me that there is a need to teach both local and foreign literature at schools so that students can develop comprehensively.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be better
instead
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While I accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
works of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, I
also
believe that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is
equally
fundamental.

On the one hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are acquiring knowledge about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
in their school, they are likely to enrich their knowledge and broaden their horizons about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
locals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their patriotism and feel take pride in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Secondly
, national literary works to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
an insight into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, through traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
,
namely
fairy tales, legends and fables,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can become familiar with their traditions, native terms and
also
national values which have
been passed
down from generation to generation.
As a result
, they will
naturally
develop a sense of national identity and patriotism.
On the other hand
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
is
also
advantageous for the following reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it gives learners opportunities to expand their horizons by showing them a bigger picture of the outside world. Having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, commentaries on politics, society, and stereotypes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
abroad will foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
awareness of the diversity of the world.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be equipped
with a broader range of knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be more prepared for the globalized world that we are living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. To be more specific, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have a grasp of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and how to adapt themselves in terms of manners, customs or
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in that new environment or dealing with foreigners.
In conclusion
, it seems to me that there is a need to teach both local and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
at schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can develop
comprehensively
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. v. 3

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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