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the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. do you agree or disagree. v.23

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 23
Nowadays the lifestyle of the people is different. Many people feel uncomfortable and time-consuming for going crowded markets. E-shopping became more popular which creates a belief of a mass bankruptcy for shopkeepers. However, it should be noted that online shopping is only an option for sellers of goods and services, not a termination button. The growth of technology has allowed people to try new ways of shopping. E-commerce websites became a trend among today’s young generation. This gives them the opportunity to visit more virtual stores in less time and buy what they are looking for. In contrary, this style of purchasing is not popular among many groups of people, including the elderly. Traditional buyers believe that they should be able to experience the products they want to buy before paying for them to be sure they choose the right one, especially those that are expensive. Which one is more important when you want to buy a new perfume, the minutes you spend in the store or making sure about the scent? Moreover, the lack of trust that people still have on online stores is another vital point by which the shops still benefit from having face-to-face customers. Shopping is something more than meeting needs. Although people go to the market and shops to buy what they need, it somehow helps them to feel more satisfied with their lives. In recent years, whenever “Apple” company launches a new smartphone, their customers have been waiting in long queues for hours to buy it. These people enjoy the waiting time, because they want to be in the group who own that new product first, even though they could purchase it on the web. Furthermore, shopping is an amusement itself. Many people, especially women, only want to go out in shopping malls for the sake of window shopping in order to satisfy themselves which is undoubtedly impossible through the Internet. Despite the fact that online shopping has found a significant place in society, but it is not a threat to the traditional stores and malls. This is mainly because many people still prefer to look closely at what they want to buy based on their instincts to have more satisfaction and they like to enjoy other opportunities they face while they are in the malls.
Nowadays the lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel uncomfortable and time-consuming for going crowded markets. E-shopping became more popular which creates a belief of a mass bankruptcy for shopkeepers.
However
, it should
be noted
that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an option for sellers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, not a termination button.

The growth of technology has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. E-commerce websites became a trend among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s young generation. This gives them the opportunity to visit more virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in less time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they are looking for. In contrary, this style of purchasing is not popular among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including the elderly. Traditional buyers believe that they should be able to experience the products they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
paying for them to be sure they choose the right one,
especially
those that are expensive. Which one is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perfume, the minutes you spend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
or making sure about the scent?
Moreover
, the lack of trust that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
have on online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is another vital point by which the shops
still
benefit from having face-to-face customers.

Shopping is something more than meeting needs. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the market and shops to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they need, it somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to feel more satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In recent years, whenever “Apple”
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
launches a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
smartphone, their customers have been waiting in long queues for hours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the waiting time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be in the group who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
product
first
,
even though
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it on the web.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is an amusement itself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
women,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go out in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls for the sake of window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in order to satisfy themselves which is
undoubtedly
impossible through the Internet.

Despite the fact that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has found a significant place in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not a threat to the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and malls. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
prefer to look
closely
at what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
based on their instincts to have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
satisfaction and
they like to enjoy other opportunities they face while they are in the malls.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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