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today, the highest sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold to what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

today, the highest sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold v. 2
Nowadays, we can easily see advertisements everywhere from television to the streets. Some people believe that advertisement can boost the amount of consumption while others state that customers buy goods but they do not need them. In my opinion, I totally agree with the first idea. I will discuss both views in my essay. on the one hand, advertisement is a good way to introduce products. Companies can show features of their products to the customers by using television commercial. Also, products appear in advertisement with a gorgeous appearance beside a very popular singer or a famous actor. Moreover, advertisements keep repeating when people watch movies or listen to music on youtube and other websites. It always shows all the best features and good quality that affect customers so that they can easily make a decision to buy without enough consideration. I have a friend who usually buys products due to its advertising campaign although she does not really need them. On the other hand, people make their own choice to buy goods. Advertising can not affect them even a product is on-trend. Depend on how much their disposable income, they have to allocate their budgets before deciding to buy something. Individuals have different income and habits so nothing can affect their choice. In addition, no one can judge the products are necessary for society or not, so that consumers may not be swayed by advertisement. For example, Apple company always releases a new edition of iPhone, it attracts many people especially youngster. In contrast, there is a range of smartphones offer the same features or functions can meet the need of customers. In conclusion, I believe that advertisement can not affect someone to buy goods due to their incomes and habits. It is hard to say that today consumers make a decision based on advertisement and people buy goods even they do not need them.
Nowadays, we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
everywhere from television to the streets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can boost the amount of consumption while others state that customers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
them. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I will discuss both views in my essay.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
features of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the customers by using television commercial.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
appear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
with a gorgeous appearance beside a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular singer or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
repeating when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies or listen to music on
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
and other websites. It always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
all the best features and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
consideration. I have a friend who
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to its advertising campaign although she does not
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. Advertising can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
them even a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is on-trend. Depend on how much their disposable income, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
allocate their budgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something. Individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income and habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nothing can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
their choice.
In addition
, no one can judge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are necessary for society or not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers may not
be swayed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For example
, Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
always releases a new edition of iPhone, it attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
youngster.
In contrast
, there is a range of smartphones offer the same features or functions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of customers.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
someone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
due to their incomes and habits. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
even they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay today, the highest sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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