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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 5
These days a lot of us buy something, they do not need, just because we see it on the TV and that show to us how much advertising effect on our decisions. So, some people think that is true and we need to be more awarreness. While others believe that is not true and we make a mountain from a molehole. I will discuss both sides in this essay and will draw my personal conclusionin the end. In one hand, there are people say that we are just paranoid and there is no effect on advertising on our decisions. They also tell us that ads just suggesting the product to you and you decide either if you would buy it or just ignore it. For example, if you saw an ad about children milk such a Selerak or something, do you would go and buy it you even do not have a child? Are not your reasons are just ridiclous and paranoid? . So thats why some think that we just being paranoid for non-sense reasons. On the other hand, they would say that the ads are really effect on how we think. And if want evidence, there are a lot of them. To illustrate, many studies show that people buying stuff are unnesscery to them. Only because they see it on TV or with their friends. Hence the belief that we should be aware of these advertising stuff. In addition, people are really taking loans and buying things they do not need. They taking loans until they become slaves for banks. For an instance, several surveys show that there are a lot of people taking loans for something does not deserve the money they will put it in it and that just a one side of this despert story. This proves clearly that we should wake up and be aware. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we should be come more aware of these stuff and try to think twice and three times before we buy something.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
, they do not need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it on the TV and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to us how much advertising effect on our decisions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
true and
we need to be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarreness
. While others believe
that is
not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
true and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mountain from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
molehole
. I will discuss both sides in this essay and will draw my personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclusionin
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In one hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
paranoid and there is no effect on advertising on our decisions. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us that ads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
suggesting the product to you and you decide either if you would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it.
For example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an ad about children milk such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Selerak
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
, do you would go and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it you even do not have a child? Are not your reasons are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake found.
ridiclous
and paranoid?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being paranoid for non-sense reasons.

On the other hand
, they would say that the ads are
really
Consider using a past participle here: "effected".
effect
on how we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
. And if want evidence, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
them. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying stuff are
Possible spelling mistake found.
unnesscery
to them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it on TV or with their friends.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that we should be aware of these advertising stuff.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
really
taking loans and buying things they do not need.
Did you mean "They're taking", "They are taking", or "They were taking"?
They taking
loans until they become slaves for banks. For an instance, several surveys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking loans for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
does not deserve the money they will put it in it and that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a one side of this
Possible spelling mistake found.
despert
story. This proves
clearly
that we should wake up and be aware.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that we should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
more aware of these stuff and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice and three times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
.
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You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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