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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 3
As globalization sweeps the world in the twenty-first century, people appear to have become more materialistic. Expensive consumer goods produced by companies like Apple and Nike are sold in all corners of the globe, and for many people they are must-have items. Some people believe that this is all down to advertising rather than actual necessity. This essay will argue in support of that position. It should be abundantly clear that many of the popular consumer goods that dominate markets around the world are not items of objective importance, but rather ones of purely superficial appeal. People need things like food and clothing, as well as some items that enable them to work or travel, but certain products are just luxury items. Take, for example, the iPhone. There are countless other devices on the market that can fulfill the main functions of an iPhone without the jaw-dropping price tag. However, in almost every country, people want to own one of these status symbols. The reason is simply that it has been marketed well, and owning one makes a person look successful and wealthy. If the real needs of society were reflected in sales, rather than the popularity of certain luxury items, our economies would look very different. Fashionable brands would not be as wealthy as ones making affordable, simple products. Yet it is those items that are carefully advertised on TV, on the internet, and at sports events, which captivate people and cause them to make unwise purchases or form irrational brand loyalties. Look at how Apple overtook Microsoft, or how Nike easily outsells any humble, local shoemaker. In conclusion, it is clear that sales are dictated not by a product’s necessity, but rather by its appeal to consumers, and this appeal is created through slick advertising campaigns.
As globalization sweeps the world in the twenty-
first
century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appear to have become more materialistic. Expensive consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
produced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Apple and Nike
are sold
in all corners of the globe, and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is all down to advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than actual necessity. This essay will argue in support of that position.

It should be
abundantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the popular consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that dominate markets around the world are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of objective importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
of
purely
superficial appeal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need things like food and clothing,
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that enable them to work or travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certain products are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. Take,
for example
, the iPhone. There are countless other devices on the market that can fulfill the main functions of an iPhone without the jaw-dropping price tag.
However
, in almost every country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
one of these status symbols. The reason is
simply
that it has
been marketed
well, and owning one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person look successful and wealthy.

If the real needs of society
were reflected
in sales,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than the popularity of certain luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, our economies would look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Fashionable brands would not be as wealthy as
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
making affordable, simple products.
Yet
it is those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that are
carefully
advertised on TV, on the internet, and at sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, which captivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cause them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
or form irrational brand loyalties. Look at how Apple overtook Microsoft, or how Nike
easily
outsells any humble, local shoemaker.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that sales
are dictated
not by a product’s necessity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
by its appeal to consumers, and this appeal
is created
through slick advertising campaigns.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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