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In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken to solve it? v.2

In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2
These days, the practice that a deterioration in the basic enjoyment of life in metropolises has been receiving much public attention in today's society. This trend poses several serious threats to many nations, and it must be addressed by a number of definite actions. There are a host of cogent reasons to which the worsening of the general condition of living can be attributed. One principal reason worth mentioning is the daily influx of people from the outskirts to cities. In reality, many believe that megacities such as Beijing and Shanghai are often bombarded with the omnipresence of job opportunities, they are more inclined to frequent a trip to urban areas with the sole aim of moving up their career ladder. The consequence of this is that this may in turn act as a catalyst for the degradation of the quality of life, in a sense that a wealthy city would face the domino effect of overpopulation and prohibitively expensive cost-of-living. Besides that, the social interaction between people in big cities has gradually been brought to the verge of dying out. It is undeniable that in light of the proliferation of modern technology, citizens would eschew communicating with their neighbors in favour of living on the internet. Therefore, they could be reluctant to share their own thoughts and mutual interests, leading to an indifference to others' emotions. As a result, lacking a sense of community as well as the feeling of insecurity may be the main culprits of an overall drop in the quality of life in overcrowded cities as a whole. Some possible measures can be taken to ameliorate the problem of the decrease in the quality of life. Promoting the construction of satellite cities is at the core of the solution. Government ministers should be instrumental in forming an impassable barrier between cities and the suburbs. If such a measure is implemented, societies may curb the mass migration from outlying areas into the inner cities. For example, in 2020, Ha Noi will sway people to move to outlying districts while improving their infrastructure and public transport, which can be ideal vehicle for the deterrence of those who have the intention of residing in large cities. Besides, the most sustainable solution is to spur people to socialize. People are swept into the maelstrom of work, therefore, social events and games would help them reduce the stress that city life often brings. As a consequence, most likely it would be a contributor to the improvement of the quality of life in the long term. All the existing data has laid a concrete foundation that the poor condition of life derives from the massive migration of provincial citizens and a lack of communication between people in municipalities. Strong measures, such as making use of satellite cities and encouraging people to engage in social activities, are the cornerstones of tackling this situation.
These days, the practice that a deterioration in the basic enjoyment of
life
in metropolises has been receiving much public attention in
today
's society. This trend poses several serious threats to
many
nations, and it
must
be addressed
by a number of
definite
actions.

There are a
host
of cogent reasons to which the worsening of the general condition of living can
be attributed
. One principal reason worth mentioning is the daily influx of
people
from the outskirts to
cities
. In reality,
many
believe that
megacities
such as Beijing and Shanghai are
often
bombarded with the omnipresence of job opportunities, they are more inclined to frequent a trip to urban areas with the sole aim of moving up their career ladder. The consequence of this is that this may in turn act as a catalyst for the degradation of the
quality
of
life
, in a sense that a wealthy city would face the domino effect of overpopulation and
prohibitively
expensive cost-of-living.
Besides
that, the social interaction between
people
in
big
cities
has
gradually
been brought
to the verge of dying out. It is undeniable that in light of the proliferation of modern technology, citizens would eschew communicating with their neighbors in
favour
of living on the internet.
Therefore
, they could be reluctant to share their
own
thoughts and mutual interests, leading to an indifference to others' emotions.
As a result
, lacking a sense of community
as well
as the feeling of insecurity may be the main culprits of an
overall
drop in the
quality
of
life
in overcrowded
cities
as a whole.

Some
possible measures can
be taken
to ameliorate the problem of the decrease in the
quality
of
life
. Promoting the construction of satellite
cities
is at the core of the solution.
Government
ministers should be instrumental in forming an impassable barrier between
cities
and the suburbs. If such a measure
is implemented
, societies may curb the mass migration from outlying areas into the inner
cities
.
For example
, in 2020, Ha
Noi
will sway
people
to
move
to outlying districts while improving their infrastructure and public transport, which can be ideal vehicle for the deterrence of those who have the intention of residing in large
cities
.
Besides
, the most sustainable solution is to spur
people
to socialize.
People
are swept
into the maelstrom of work,
therefore
, social
events
and games would
help
them
reduce
the
stress
that city
life
often
brings. As a consequence, most likely it would be a contributor to the improvement of the
quality
of
life
in the long term.

All the existing data has laid a concrete foundation that the poor condition of
life
derives from the massive migration of provincial citizens and a lack of communication between
people
in municipalities. Strong measures, such as making
use
of satellite
cities
and encouraging
people
to engage in social activities, are the cornerstones of tackling this situation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the reasons? What measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
480 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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