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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree? v.20

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 20
In the era that technology is thriving like nowadays, in order to quickly sell products, a company must be able to take advantage of advertisement to gain the public attention or to make people well-aware of their goods and services. Many people think that this is the sole factor contributing to the high sales of companies, however, in my opinion, that is not the whole story. Sales volumes are determined by many other crucial elements in which what humans truly need is included. In the first place, the importance of advertising, or being more referred as marketing, is undeniable in making products outstanding in marketplaces in the modern world. As the Internet has helped product promotion process advance to a whole new chapter, companies are constantly seeking for the best methods to publicize their images. In other words, managers’ mindset is that the more people know about the quality of the company’s products, the higher the sales volumes will become. That explains why the salaries, bonuses and rewards in marketing jobs are always exceptionally high compared to other related jobs, so as to attract more potential candidates who are fit for the jobs and able to make a great deal of profit for companies via advertising. Therefore, no matter how the world’s current business strategies change, advertising will always play an indispensable role in making companies profitable. On the other hand, high sales created only by marketing your products continually is impractical. Apart from solely doing so, another factor needs to be taken into consideration is to find out what people are in great need of. For example, companies should pay more attention in investing in searching for the market wants and needs so that they can provide the right products to satisfy the demand of the targeted markets. This can surprisingly boost company’ sales revenues as well as their reputation. By contrast, keeping advertising the products that customers currently do not want to use can not earn any coins, even damaging companies’ budgets by wasting on such unrealistic plans. In conclusion, high sales revenues indicate not only that companies have great practices of advertising, but they also point out that companies have supplied the right products to customers.
In the era that technology is thriving like nowadays, in order to
quickly
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to take advantage of advertisement to gain the public attention or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
well-aware of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is the sole factor contributing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
however
, in my opinion,
that is
not the whole story.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sales
volumes
are determined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
crucial elements in which what humans
truly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is included
.

In the
first
place, the importance of advertising, or being more referred as marketing, is undeniable in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
outstanding in marketplaces in the modern world. As the Internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
promotion process advance to a whole new chapter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
constantly
seeking for the best methods to publicize their images. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, managers’ mindset is that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, the higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
volumes will become. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why the salaries, bonuses and rewards in marketing jobs are always
exceptionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related jobs,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
attract more potential candidates who
are fit
for the jobs and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great deal of profit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
via advertising.
Therefore
, no matter how the world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
business strategies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, advertising will always play an indispensable role in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
profitable.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
created
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by marketing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
continually
is impractical. Apart from
solely
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, another factor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be taken
into consideration is to find out what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should pay more attention in investing in searching for the market wants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can provide the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to satisfy the demand of the targeted markets. This can
surprisingly
boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
revenues
as well
as their reputation. By contrast, keeping advertising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that customers
currently
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
can not earn any coins, even damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
budgets by wasting on such unrealistic plans.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
revenues indicate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have great practices of advertising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have supplied the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to customers.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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