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Today, the advanced science and technology have made great changes to people's life, but artists such as musicians, painters and writers are still highly valued. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v.1

Today, the advanced science and technology have made great changes to people's life, but artists such as musicians, painters and writers are still highly valued. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 1
Contemporary artists are esteemed consistently, despite the development of science and technology. Benefits may arts have obtained from them, though, it is evidently that science and technology cannot highlight the far-reaching reasons of life as arts do. There are various senses that exit merely in artial domain but not in science or technology. The most significant influence of arts concerning the cultivation how to record and express life. Every genre of art is a window to view life, for instance, music teach us to utilize ears to capture the fluctuation of voices in order to comprehend the changing in heart. In addition, considering to the term of reasons arts addressing to people, namely truth, kindness, beauty and love, no distrust will directing to arts whether it provides the same with science. Actually, science arms humans with abilities to survive but not intelligence to live a high-qulity life. Furthermore, taking into account how we grow up, we may have been accompanied by a wide range of arts. Joe HISAISHI, one renowned Japanese musician for example, in whose music and animations the contemporaries of mine had gained, adventurous imagination, inspiration and happiness. On the other hand, modern techniques are vehicles but not substance. They furnish human beings with knowledge to optimize lives, and with spare time to approach to arts. A new instrument invented, we could appreciate fresh sounds of music, while the rhythms might be the same as before. In summary, arts afford us inspiration, happiness, treasure art works and valuable culture, all that is nowhere to be found in science and technology. Without artists, alien would our life be to imagination and cultural compositions, and would humans be to spiritual paradise.
Contemporary artists
are esteemed
consistently
, despite the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Benefits may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have obtained from them, though, it is
evidently
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
cannot highlight the far-reaching reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
do.

There are various senses that exit
merely
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
artial
domain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The most significant influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
concerning the cultivation how to record and express
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Every genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a window to view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
for instance
, music teach us to utilize ears to capture the fluctuation of voices in order to comprehend the changing in heart.
In addition
, considering to the term of reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
addressing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
namely
truth, kindness, beauty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, no distrust will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "direct"
directing
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
whether it provides the same with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
arms humans with abilities to survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not intelligence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
high-qulity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
, taking into account how we grow up, we may have
been accompanied
by a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Joe
Possible spelling mistake found.
HISAISHI
, one renowned Japanese musician
for example
, in whose music and animations the contemporaries of mine had gained, adventurous imagination, inspiration and happiness.

On the other hand
, modern techniques are vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not substance. They furnish human beings with knowledge to optimize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and with spare time to approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. A new instrument invented, we could appreciate fresh sounds of music, while the rhythms might be the same as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
afford us inspiration, happiness, treasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
works and valuable culture, all
that is
nowhere to
be found
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Without artists, alien would our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
be to imagination and cultural compositions, and would humans be to spiritual paradise.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the advanced science and technology have made great changes to people's life, but artists such as musicians, painters and writers are still highly valued. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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