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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v.8

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 8
Over the recent decades, video games have been emerged as an appealing entertainment, absorbing more and more people from all age groups, from children to adults. However, issues associated with their positive and negative impacts are still vague, requiring an in-depth scrutiny to be revealed. Some people assert that playing such games brings nothing except physical and social problems, while proponents believe that video games are effective and educational. I, for one, opine that the disadvantages far outweigh the merits. Playing video games promotes an inappropriate lifestyle, leading to the deterioration of both physical and social abilities. There is ample evidence approving that if people dedicate unlimited amount of time to game, some undesirable health-related repercussions are inevitable. Playing video games has caused people to suffer from a sedentary lifestyle due to the fact that the attractiveness of such games makes people lose the track of time. As long as players are physically inactive, some certain diseases like obesity, high blood pressure, and heart troubles will be developed. Furthermore, those who are interested in video games may encounter social difficulties. Playing video games can create addiction, especially for adolescents, since such games motivate youngsters to pursue higher scores and rewards. In the event that the players cannot control the playing time, it will keep them away from taking part in social gatherings and events. Consequently, not only do they become socially isolated but also they are unable to cultivate valuable skills such as making friends and interacting with peers. On the contrary, advocators claim that there are potential advantages of playing video games including personal developments and therapeutic purposes. These games are designed scientifically in the hope that they can foster individuals’ advancements like problem-solving capabilities. For instance, some games provide players with the situations that overcoming them requires a high brain speed for making a wise decision. Indeed, the gamers gradually learn how to employ and promote their intelligence as well as analytical thinking ability to solve the challenges. Moreover, although it may be presumed that games are stressful or even psychologically harmful, it has been widely demonstrated in academic studies that playing games makes people able to alleviate stress and tension they may have experienced during a day. Video games can make an opportunity for people to focus on something pleasant and entertaining on account of the fact that the games distract their minds from negative thoughts. In brief, although some proponents persistently emphasize on the plus points of playing games, I can conclude that the demerits are more detrimental. To be able to curb the destructive impacts, people should set a time schedule, so they can control the time they allot to such games.
Over the recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
been emerged
as an appealing entertainment, absorbing more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all age groups, from children to adults.
However
, issues associated with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts are
still
vague, requiring an in-depth scrutiny to
be revealed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
brings nothing except physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems, while proponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are effective and educational. I, for one, opine that the disadvantages far outweigh the merits.

Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
promotes an inappropriate lifestyle, leading to the deterioration of both physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
abilities. There is ample evidence approving that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dedicate unlimited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesirable health-related repercussions are inevitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to suffer from a sedentary lifestyle due to the fact that the attractiveness of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As long as players are
physically
inactive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain diseases like obesity, high blood pressure, and heart troubles will
be developed
.
Furthermore
, those who
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
difficulties.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can create addiction,
especially
for adolescents, since such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
motivate youngsters to pursue higher scores and rewards. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that the players cannot control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gatherings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Consequently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they become
socially
isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are unable to cultivate valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as making friends and interacting with peers.

On the contrary
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
advocators
claim that there are potential advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
including personal developments and therapeutic purposes. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are designed
scientifically
in the hope that they can foster individuals’ advancements like problem-solving capabilities.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
provide players with the situations that overcoming them requires a high brain speed for making a wise decision.
Indeed
, the gamers
gradually
learn how to employ and promote their intelligence
as well
as analytical thinking ability to solve the challenges.
Moreover
, although it may
be presumed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are stressful or even
psychologically
harmful, it has been
widely
demonstrated in academic studies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
able to alleviate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension they may have experienced during a day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to focus on something pleasant and entertaining on account of the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
distract their minds from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts.

In brief
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proponents
persistently
emphasize on the plus points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, I can conclude that the demerits are more detrimental. To be able to curb the destructive impacts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should set a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they allot to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
447 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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