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In many countries, prison is the most common solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with better education so that they cannot become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many countries, prison is the most common solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with better education so that they cannot become criminals. v. 2
Many places around the world are troubled by an increasing number of crimes. In order to combat this problem, governments have been seeking the best solution. In my opinion, only by providing better education and punishing offenders strictly at the same time can the crime rate be effectively lowered. There is no doubt that education has a critically important role to play in crime prevention and this is particularly evident in this knowledge-based century. Studies have shown that a large proportion of offenses are committed by poorly educated people who can neither make a living without the skills and knowledge acquired from school nor are aware of the line between legal and illegal. Therefore, if the government makes more efforts towards eliminating illiteracy and improving academic competence, crimes such as theft, robbery and violent attack can be effectively prevented. However, even though the access to education has been guaranteed, the possibility of breaking the law still remains. This is because apart from poverty and lack of legal awareness, there are many other reasons for committing a crime, such as greed, envy and vengeance. Therefore, the establishment of prisons is as effective as education to prevent crime, serving the purpose of deterring potential offenders. By confining prisoners within an extremely small area and taking away their freedom to meet families, law enforcement departments can punish them with pain both psychologically and physically. As a result, those who intend to receive bribes or abuse animals may weigh the cost carefully. In conclusion, although ensuring that every citizen has the access to being sufficiently educated contributes positively to reducing crimes, locking up criminals is equally effective and extremely necessary.
Many
places around the world
are troubled
by an increasing number of
crimes
. In order to combat this problem,
governments
have been seeking the best solution. In my opinion,
only
by providing better
education
and punishing offenders
strictly
at the same time can the
crime
rate be
effectively
lowered.

There is no doubt that
education
has a
critically
important
role to play in
crime
prevention and this is
particularly
evident in this knowledge-based century. Studies have shown that a large proportion of offenses
are committed
by
poorly
educated
people
who can neither
make
a living without the
skills
and knowledge acquired from school nor are aware of the line between legal and illegal.
Therefore
, if the
government
makes
more efforts towards eliminating illiteracy and improving academic competence,
crimes
such as theft, robbery and violent attack can be
effectively
prevented
.

However
,
even though
the access to
education
has
been guaranteed
, the possibility of breaking the law
still
remains. This is
because
apart from poverty and lack of legal awareness, there are
many
other reasons for committing a
crime
, such as greed, envy and vengeance.
Therefore
, the establishment of prisons is as effective as
education
to
prevent
crime
, serving the purpose of deterring potential offenders. By confining prisoners within an
extremely
small
area and taking away their freedom to
meet
families, law enforcement departments can punish them with pain both
psychologically
and
physically
.
As a result
, those who intend to receive bribes or abuse animals may weigh the cost
carefully
.

In conclusion
, although ensuring that every citizen has the access to being
sufficiently
educated contributes
positively
to reducing
crimes
, locking up criminals is
equally
effective and
extremely
necessary.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, prison is the most common solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with better education so that they cannot become criminals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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