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Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Online education and training business has rapidly grown and brought an alluring twist in this jet set world. The Online coaching has its own negative effects like distracting concentration and isolating students from the real world. However the positives such as physical comfort, access to attending classes from famous trainers and support for storing of tutorial videos outweighs the negatives. On the negative side, the online coaching services should not be encouraged as the advertisements and popups from their webpage steals our attention from concentrating on classes. Also, the entertainment activities like online videos, games and music deviates our focus from listening to tutors, results in missing important topics. In addition, unlike the real classrooms, where students interact with their peers to clear the doubts instantaneously, online coaching Isolates students from the real world and curbs communication. On the positive side, the online classes are transcendent as it provides many benefits to students and learners. The internet coaching option helps us to attend classes from our residence, thus, saves fuel and money and reduces the amount of physical work, resulting in a comfortable learning experience. Further, the tutorial videos and lectures involving complex theories and problems can be recorded and stored, later replay and revise whenever possible. For instance, many online courses from the 'xxxxx' academy provide options to save and download videos. Moreover, the online classes help us to listen to famous educational experts and great scholars across the globe, making us highly sagacious by adding colours to our lives. To Conclude, the plethora of benefits from the online education, outweighs the disadvantages as it helps the students from various nations to spread their wings to reach greater heights and embrace victory.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
education and training business has
rapidly
grown and brought an alluring twist in this jet set world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coaching
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects like distracting concentration and isolating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the real world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the positives such as physical comfort, access to attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
trainers and support for storing of tutorial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
outweighs the negatives.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coaching
services should not
be encouraged
as the advertisements and popups from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
webpage
steals our attention from concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Also
, the entertainment activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, games and music deviates our focus from listening to tutors, results in missing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topics.
In addition
, unlike the real classrooms, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interact with their peers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the doubts
instantaneously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coaching
Isolates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the real world and curbs communication.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are transcendent as it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and learners. The internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coaching
option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
from our residence,
thus
, saves fuel and money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the amount of physical work, resulting in a comfortable learning experience.
Further
, the tutorial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and lectures involving complex theories and problems can
be recorded
and stored, later replay and revise whenever possible.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses from the '
Possible spelling mistake found.
xxxxx
' academy provide options to save and download
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to listen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
educational experts and great scholars across the globe, making us
highly
sagacious by adding
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To Conclude
, the plethora of benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
education, outweighs the disadvantages as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from various nations to spread their wings to reach greater heights and embrace victory.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today people spend more time travelling to work than before. Some people suggest employers should allow employees to do some work home. Do you think that advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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