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Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and state your opinion. v.1

Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. v. 1
Over the past decade, people have become ignorant about the health impact of exercise on the human body. A considerable number of people assert that sports tournaments such as the World Cup and Olympics  can play a key role in making people more active and physically fit. However, others argue that they can remain free of ailments by adopting a healthy lifestyle. I am in agreement with the latter opinion. By adopting a natural lifestyle, people can bring fruitful results in their lives in terms of health. This can be effectively achieved by changing one's diet in favour of vegetables, nuts, and fruits instead of eating saturated fats and other high calorie meals. Consequently, these conformities will reduce the fat burden on their vital organs such as heart, liver and kidneys. The evidence of this can be seen by looking at the Japanese population who are living an average lifespan of above 90 years. Therefore, future morbidities such as diabetes, hypertension, and hypercholesterolemia can be prevented by eating more green foods. On the contrary, there are people who believe that the best method to promote health among citizens is to conduct international sports events such as the Olympics and World Championships on a regular basis. The basis of their argument lies in the fact that people have an inherent tendency to follow their role models. Celebrities such as boxers, football players and tennis stars have a huge influence on their fans, and by creating an environment where the followers can watch their star athletes will inspire them to follow their lifestyles too. Consequently, the residents will engage in athletic activities in pursuit of their sports heroes. This phenomenon is evident in Australia where the annual sports data shows an increase in gym memberships after every NRL grand final. Therefore, annual games should be conducted at national and international levels since people draw inspiration from their favourite athletes. In conclusion, even though people should be provided an adequate exposure to games through world tournaments such as Cricket World Cup and Football Annual Championship Trophy, it is precisely the change in lifestyle that will benefit them in the short and long term. People should prefer vegetables in place of meat, and should restrict the use of alcohol or smoking in order to stay physically and mentally fit.
Over the past decade,
people
have become ignorant about the health impact of exercise on the human body. A considerable number of
people
assert that
sports
tournaments such as the
World
Cup and Olympics
can play a key role in making
people
more active and
physically
fit.
However
, others argue that they can remain free of ailments by adopting a healthy
lifestyle
. I am in agreement with the latter opinion.

By adopting a natural
lifestyle
,
people
can bring fruitful results in their
lives
in terms of health. This can be
effectively
achieved by changing one's diet in
favour
of vegetables, nuts, and fruits
instead
of eating saturated fats and other high calorie meals.
Consequently
, these conformities will
reduce
the
fat
burden on their vital organs such as heart, liver and kidneys. The evidence of this can be
seen
by looking at the Japanese population who are living an average lifespan of above 90 years.
Therefore
, future
morbidities
such as diabetes, hypertension, and
hypercholesterolemia
can be
prevented
by eating more green foods.

On the contrary
, there are
people
who believe that the best method to promote health among citizens is to conduct international
sports
events
such as the Olympics and
World
Championships on a regular basis. The basis of their argument lies in the fact that
people
have an inherent tendency to follow their role models. Celebrities such as boxers, football players and tennis stars have a huge influence on their fans, and by creating an environment where the followers can
watch
their star athletes will inspire them to follow their
lifestyles
too.
Consequently
, the residents will engage in athletic activities in pursuit of their
sports
heroes. This phenomenon is evident in Australia where the annual
sports
data
shows
an increase in gym memberships after every NRL grand final.
Therefore
, annual games should
be conducted
at national and international levels since
people
draw inspiration from their
favourite
athletes.

In conclusion
,
even though
people
should
be provided
an adequate exposure to games through
world
tournaments such as Cricket
World
Cup and Football Annual Championship Trophy, it is
precisely
the
change
in
lifestyle
that will benefit them in the short and long term.
People
should prefer vegetables in place of meat, and should restrict the
use
of alcohol or smoking in order to stay
physically
and mentally fit.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today people do less exercise. Some people believe that conducting sporting events such as the Olympics or World Cup encourage people to live healthy while others indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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