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1) What is the party? 2) Where was the party held? 3) Who attended the party? and describe what did you do in that party? v.1

1) What is the party? 2) Where was the party held? 3) Who attended the party? and describe what did you do in that party? v. 1
A Healthy mind lives in a healthy body. After all, a healthy individual can positively impact the society he lives in. Some people believe that it's an individual commitment to look after his own fitness and eating habits. Whereas, others argue that the legislation should ascertain that their nationals to follow a nutritious diet and a healthy regime. I determinedly opine that, if a law making body intervenes to ensure that its' people follow a healthy daily routine, it will have a propitious effect on overall well-being of the association. This essay will examine both the views and will draw an inference. In order that an individual is robust, It becomes a responsibility of that person to take care of his own health in the best possible manner. Not pursuing a fit everyday routine will certainly have a direct impact on man's prosperity. For instance, people who follow a sedentary style of living, are more prone to get health issues such as obesity, diabetes, high/low blood pressure and so on. An unhealthy person cannot contribute positively to his community, both personally and professionally. Hence, it becomes an obligation of a responsible citizen to follow a healthy daily routine, which will make his association wholesome. However, in this fast paced busy life, people inevitably follow a sluggish lifestyle just for their convenience, which in turn is having a detrimental effect on our fraternity. In such situation, if the legislation mediates to spread awareness among its nationals, it will definitely boost the sentiments of its people to follow a vigorous mode of life. To illustrate, US state unions run several camps to sensitize its people to go for a regular walk, climb stairs rather than taking lifts and elevators, which in turn has made many nationals follow a healthier life (as they consider this as their government's devotion and consideration towards them). To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated arguments and information, and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that the law-making body's interference has a substantial influence over its national's perspective to a healthy daily routine. Although, it cannot force its' people, meanwhile, it remains an individual's own responsibility to take care of his fitness. I strongly feel that, in order to have a sound society, individuals should take care of their own fitness, but the government should spread awareness and take necessary actions, to ensure more pronounced nation.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Healthy
mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body.
After all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
positively
impact the society he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it's an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
commitment to look after his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fitness and eating habits. Whereas, others argue that the legislation should ascertain that their nationals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a nutritious diet and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
regime. I
determinedly
opine that, if a law making body intervenes to ensure that
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
, it will have a propitious effect on
overall
well-being of the association. This essay will examine both the views and will draw an inference.

In order that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is robust, It becomes a responsibility of that person to take care of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health in the best possible manner. Not pursuing a fit everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
will
certainly
have a direct impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's prosperity.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a sedentary style of living, are more prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
health issues such as obesity, diabetes, high/low blood pressure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. An unhealthy person cannot contribute
positively
to his community, both
personally
and
professionally
.
Hence
, it becomes an obligation of a responsible citizen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his association wholesome.

However
, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced busy life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inevitably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a sluggish lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for their convenience, which in turn is having a detrimental effect on our fraternity. In such situation, if the legislation mediates to spread awareness among its nationals, it will definitely boost the sentiments of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a vigorous mode of life. To illustrate, US state unions run several camps to sensitize its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go for a regular walk, climb stairs
rather
than taking lifts and elevators, which in turn has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nationals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a healthier life (as they consider this as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's devotion and consideration towards them).

To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated arguments and information, and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that the law-making body's interference has a substantial influence over its national's perspective to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
. Although, it cannot force
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, meanwhile, it remains an individual's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to take care of his fitness. I
strongly
feel that, in order to have a sound society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fitness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spread awareness and take necessary actions, to ensure more pronounced nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1) What is the party? 2) Where was the party held? 3) Who attended the party? and describe what did you do in that party? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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