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Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
These days food travels many miles as farmers' exports their food across the world to satisfy the consumer demand. Although some people think stopping this practise would benefit the economy and the environment, I believe the negative impacts would not justify such a change. We can benefit from stopping the import of food in two ways. In relation to the environment, transporting food involved the use of thousands of lorries and many flights, which contributes to pollution given all the emission this produces. This also negatively affects the health of the people and leads to global warming. In addition, to this stopping this practise will mean that people will only buy local food, leading to a boost to the local economies as farmers will become more profitable as they sell more. However, there are downsides to this. A problem these days, many countries, particularly developing countries, rely on exports of their produce. Countries often have acres of land where production of export products takes place which helps in providing income to the farmers, but also provides work for thousands of people working on farms. Furthermore, people these days have become dependent on ingredients from other countries and without it people can no longer cook their favourite recipes and many restaurants that depend on exports may go out of business. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Despite the fact that stopping the exports can have a positive impact on the environment, the negative economic impact on the farmers and the people whose lively hoods depends on export goods would be detrimental.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
travels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
miles as farmers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
across the world to satisfy the consumer demand. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
stopping this
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
would benefit the economy and the environment, I believe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts would not justify such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

We can benefit from stopping the import of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in two ways. In relation to the environment, transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
involved the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of thousands of lorries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
flights, which contributes to pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
all the emission this produces. This
also
negatively
affects the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and leads to global warming.
In addition
, to this stopping this
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
will mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, leading to a boost to the local economies as farmers will become more profitable as they sell more.

However
, there are downsides to this. A problem these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
particularly
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
of their produce.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have acres of land where production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
products takes place which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in providing income to the farmers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides work for thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working on farms.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have become dependent on ingredients from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and without it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can no longer cook their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
recipes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants that depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
may go out of business.

In conclusion
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Despite the fact that stopping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the environment, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
economic impact on the farmers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose lively hoods depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
would be detrimental.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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