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Some people believe that the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. v. 1
There was an ignited debate in recent years to argue for the importance of educational setting. Opponents to orthodox perspective did believe that the qualities that could pave the way for success were collected from other environments rather than traditional education. In my humble opinion, university does partly contribute to one’s sweet fruits, other required abilities come down from real-life practices. On the one hand, current education systems are in desperate need of being reformed. Despite that fact that the concept that learning is the shortcut to eradicate the gap of the circumstances which one was born was accepted for generations, our education system is way behind on realistic expectations. Only by tackling at the root of imparting knowledge can human lay a new foundation for the next graduates who are obliged to face an endless sea of deadly issues that could threat our survival. For example, more and more universities have included computer science and soft skills in their curriculums no matter what student's major is. This move could be admitted as education’s failure amid changing realistic expectations in current context. In this light, the skeptics have the rights to declare that higher education does no longer catch the pace of time. On the other hand, learning must be practiced throughout one’s lifetime rather than only in schooling. In fact, learning does not make one learned, or in other words, to be successful. There are those who have knowledge and those who have understanding. The first requires memory and the second philosophy. Therefore, a person have to be armed with a comprehensive understanding that it is the combination of practical experiences and knowledge schooled in educational settings to be the best way leading to the final success. For instance, Edmond Dantes in the Count of Monte Cristo who actually had enjoyed two-year of training with an Italian priest, Faria, did learn other important abilities by experiencing various lives to eventually reach his most precious success: to forgive the life and to forgive himself also. For learning is a relentless quest, each individual is obliged to cultivate practical qualities that aims to support his goals everyday in life, even as the schooling was over, instead of depending on the knowledge learned in school. In conclusion, there is a widening gap between higher education and realistic expectation that forces the authority to pay attention. I firmly believe that humans today do no longer depend on the knowledge impacted by universities to become successful.
There was an ignited debate in recent years to argue for the importance of educational setting. Opponents to orthodox perspective did believe that the qualities that could pave the way for success
were collected
from
other
environments
rather
than traditional
education
. In my humble opinion, university does partly contribute to one’s sweet fruits,
other
required abilities
come
down from real-life practices.

On the one hand,
current
education
systems are in desperate need of
being reformed
. Despite that fact that the concept that
learning
is the shortcut to eradicate the gap of the circumstances which one
was born
was
accepted
for generations, our
education
system is way behind on realistic expectations.
Only
by tackling at the root of imparting
knowledge
can human lay a new foundation for the
next
graduates
who
are obliged
to face an endless sea of deadly issues that could threat our survival.
For example
, more and more universities have included computer science and soft
skills
in their curriculums no matter what student's major is. This
move
could
be admitted
as
education’s
failure amid changing realistic expectations in
current
context. In this light, the skeptics have the rights to declare that higher
education
does no longer catch the pace of time.

On the
other
hand,
learning
must
be practiced
throughout one’s lifetime
rather
than
only
in schooling. In fact,
learning
does not
make
one learned, or in
other
words, to be successful. There are those
who
have
knowledge
and those
who
have understanding. The
first
requires memory and the second philosophy.
Therefore
, a person
have to
be armed
with a comprehensive understanding that it is the combination of practical experiences and
knowledge
schooled in educational settings to be the best way leading to the final success.
For instance
, Edmond
Dantes
in the Count of Monte
Cristo
who
actually had enjoyed two-year of training with an Italian priest,
Faria
, did learn
other
important
abilities by experiencing various
lives
to
eventually
reach his most precious success: to forgive the life and to forgive himself
also
. For
learning
is a relentless quest, each individual
is obliged
to cultivate practical qualities that aims to support his goals
everyday
in life, even as the schooling was over,
instead
of depending on the
knowledge
learned in school.

In conclusion
, there is a widening gap between higher
education
and realistic expectation that forces the authority to pay attention. I
firmly
believe that humans
today
do no longer depend on the
knowledge
impacted by universities to become successful.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people believe that the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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