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Today more people are travelling than ever before why is this case? what are the benefit of travelling for the traveller? v.1

Today more people are travelling than ever before why is this case? what are the benefit of travelling for the traveller? v. 1
Today, a very high percentage of people are travelling than ever before. The reasons and benefits of this hike are quite many and varied to different individuals. On a lighter note, there are larger numbers by means of transportation that include, more cars, buses, trains and flights in operation. However, the sheer number of transportation means is not enough to explain this increment rather, the cost of travelling though at present is increasing due to economic slowdown globally; is still relatively affordable to many people. Furthermore, this affordability is enhanced by the use of credit cards and loans in order to fund trip especially for holidays. In addition to this, an upsurge of travel companies in competition with each other has also helped bring package prices down, for instance, an increase in the number of operating flights globally has given rise to falling airfares thereby, making more people embark on trips more often this days. To add to this, people now have more leisure time and disposable incomes, the combination of this two variable with unrelenting advertising campaigns from travel companies arguably lead to increase in the number of individuals travelling especially for holidays. On a more serious note, travelling has a lot of benefits to individuals and the economy at large. On the one hand, people get to experience new cultures and cuisines of other places as the commute from one place to another. on the other hand, tourism has been a major factor impacting on the growth of the economy of most nations. In conclusion, this day people move from one place to another due to hike in transportation means, upsurge in travel companies in competition with unrelenting advertising campaigns, cheaper airfare packages, more leisure time and disposable incomes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The reasons and benefits of this hike are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and varied to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
individuals.

On a lighter note, there are larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
by means of transportation that include, more cars, buses, trains and flights in operation.
However
, the sheer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of transportation means is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this increment
rather
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
though at present is increasing due to economic slowdown globally; is
still
relatively
affordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, this affordability
is enhanced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of credit cards and loans in order to fund trip
especially
for holidays.

In addition
to this, an upsurge of travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in competition with each other has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
bring package prices down,
for instance
, an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of operating flights globally has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to falling airfares thereby, making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
embark on trips more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more leisure time and disposable incomes, the combination of this two variable with unrelenting advertising campaigns from travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
arguably
lead to increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
especially
for holidays.

On a more serious note,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to individuals and the economy at large. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to experience new cultures and cuisines of other places as the commute from one place to another.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, tourism has been a major factor impacting on the growth of the economy of most nations.

In conclusion
, this day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another due to hike in transportation means, upsurge in travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in competition with unrelenting advertising campaigns, cheaper airfare packages, more leisure time and disposable incomes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before why is this case? what are the benefit of travelling for the traveller? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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