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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.32

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 32
Over the last few years, a majority of people attracted to travel risky places where they couldn't feel themselves safe or the places where they cannot predict if they come back from travel. Whereas there are some people, they only visit places which are secure. Visiting a safe place or places where conditions are difficult both have pros and cons. Firstly, explore the places where situations are under control is the perfect option. Because some people just want to travel and enjoy the sightseeing. They don't want to put themselves in any bad situation. They thought that, why they push their family in trouble? Because if community travel danger places such as Kashmir, Leh-Ladakh, Forests etc. then they are not secure whether they meet again their family members or not, because places like Kashmir and Leh-Ladakh, where terrorist attacks are a common thing which is not secure for them. Secondly, on the other hand, there are society, who loves to explore places where conditions are not easy to survive or travel as well. The majority of communities which are younger or groups which are travelling with friends choose the places to visit where situations are not easy going, such as the Sahara desert, Antartic, Kashmir etc. I think one of the main reason behind it is to enjoy the beauty of nature and they like to do adventurous activities. Another benefit of travel dangerous places is, people can improve their confidence and ability to do hard things. A climber like to trek the highest mountain such as Mount Everest just for their passion. In conclusion, community should choose the destinations which are safe. But at the end it depends on society, whether they give priority to their family or their passion.
Over the last few years, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attracted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where they couldn't feel themselves safe or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where they cannot predict if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. Whereas there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which are secure. Visiting a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where conditions are difficult both have pros and cons.

Firstly
, explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where situations are under control is the perfect option.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and enjoy the sightseeing. They don't want to put themselves in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that, why they push their family in trouble?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as Kashmir,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leh-Ladakh
, Forests etc. then they are not secure whether they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
again their family members or not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like Kashmir and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leh-Ladakh
, where terrorist attacks are a common thing which is not secure for them.

Secondly
,
on the other hand
, there are society, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where conditions are not easy to survive or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
as well
. The majority of communities which are younger or groups which are travelling with friends choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to visit where situations are not easy going, such as the Sahara desert,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartic
, Kashmir etc. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
one of the main reason behind it is to enjoy the beauty of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nature and
they like to do adventurous activities. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their confidence and ability to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
things. A climber like to trek the highest mountain such as Mount Everest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for their passion.

In conclusion
, community should choose the destinations which are safe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it depends on society, whether they give priority to their family or their passion.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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