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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v.33

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v. 33
Nowadays, as the word develops, more and more people are now able to travel easily. Hence, there are several reasons for this phenomenon which has tremendous benefits. Firstly, the number of individuals, who is travelling around the world, is increasing steadily due to globalization which does not have complicated obstacles. For example, European countries facilitate the procedures of getting a business visa in less time than before. Secondly, one of the prominent reasons, is the high competition between airlines, which cause the dramatic drop in air ticket prices. Technological advances make travelling outside the countries easier than in the past times because now anyone can buy an electronic ticket online readily. For instance, in the old days, a substantial proportion of people spent a lot of time looking for the best travel agency to buy a ticket. On the other hand, by just one click, travelers can buy tickets online while they are sitting at home saving a lot of time. Interestingly, when it comes to stating the benefits of travelling, they are utterly countless. One of the glaring advantages is broadening travelers’ horizons. For example, when people tend to either learn a different language or again a new knowledge, which will assist to widen their minds. Moreover, if citizens want to not only feel relax but also forget about their problems, they will travel abroad to disconnect from their regular life. Undoubtedly, the national income of the host country will be significantly increased due to travelers’ buying process. According to a recent study, travelling has the lion share of the most popular hobby across the world which makes people happy. In conclusion, travelling has grown enormously in the past recent years due to various factors. Also, travelling is very important in our life because of its benefits.
Nowadays, as the word develops, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to travel
easily
.
Hence
, there are several reasons for this phenomenon which has tremendous benefits.

Firstly
, the number of individuals, who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
around the world, is increasing
steadily
due to globalization which does not have complicated obstacles.
For example
, European countries facilitate the procedures of getting a business visa in less time than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Secondly
, one of the prominent reasons, is the high competition between airlines, which cause the dramatic drop in air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
prices. Technological advances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
outside the countries easier than in the past times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
online
readily
.
For instance
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, a substantial proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time looking for the best travel agency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
.
On the other hand
, by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click, travelers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
online while they are sitting at home saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.

Interestingly
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to stating the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, they are
utterly
countless. One of the glaring advantages is broadening travelers’ horizons.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to either learn a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
language or again a new knowledge, which will assist to widen their minds.
Moreover
, if citizens want to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
forget about their problems, they will travel abroad to disconnect from their regular life.
Undoubtedly
, the national income of the host country will be
significantly
increased due to travelers’ buying process. According to a recent study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has the lion share of the most popular hobby across the world which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has grown
enormously
in the past recent years due to various factors.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its benefits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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