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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.30

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 30
Nowadays, more and more people are getting away from their homes to travel around the world compared in the past. For some, they just probably wanted to show off to their friends and relatives through posting their photos and videos of themselves while in those places to show that perhaps they can afford one. However, for the critically-thinking excursionists, they actually plan to tour because they know the long-lasting benefits of visiting foreign countries, such as sharpening minds and a healthier shifting of perspective towards life. One beneficial factor that exploring outside our own place is that it can sharpen our mind. In fact, being placed into a new environment engages a dormant part of our brains. For instance, when I was in a beautiful city of Melbourne in Australia as a student-explorer, I was suddenly required to navigate unfamiliar places, read British-Australian language, trying new things, made quick decisions and chose new eating and sleeping schedule. As a result, I became more alert. Another advantage of travelling is it can shift our outlook of life in a better way. Being exposed to new cultures and people will greatly turn our paradigm and create a healthier perspective once we return back home. For example, seeing different social classes creates compassion and really makes us feel more blessed and contented. Like what happened to me when I was in Banawe Rice Terraces in Ifugao here in the Philippines for a certain school project, I have seen most of the people there, living a difficult life. It is because they had to work the whole day under the sun for their rice fields and their homes had no electricity. So my hard day at work in the hospital suddenly does not seem so bad for me at all. In conclusion, I think that whatever our reasons to travel, it will always sure that we, trippers, will always have personal advantages. Two of these are to have an alert mind and a feeling of compassion and contentment.
Nowadays, more and more
people
are getting away from their homes to travel around the world compared in the past. For
some
, they
just
probably
wanted to
show
off to their friends and relatives through posting their photos and videos of themselves while in those places to
show
that perhaps they can afford one.
However
, for the
critically
-thinking excursionists, they actually plan to tour
because
they know the long-lasting benefits of visiting foreign countries, such as sharpening minds and a healthier shifting of perspective towards life.

One beneficial factor that exploring outside our
own
place is that it can sharpen our mind. In fact,
being placed
into a
new
environment engages a dormant part of our brains.
For instance
, when I was in a
beautiful
city of Melbourne in Australia as a student-explorer, I was
suddenly
required to navigate unfamiliar places, read British-Australian language, trying
new
things, made quick decisions and chose
new
eating and sleeping schedule.
As a result
, I became more alert.

Another advantage of travelling is it can shift our outlook of life in a better way.
Being exposed
to
new
cultures and
people
will
greatly
turn our paradigm and create a healthier perspective once we
return back
home.
For example
, seeing
different
social classes creates compassion and
really
makes
us feel more blessed and contented. Like what happened to me when I was in
Banawe
Rice Terraces in
Ifugao
here in the Philippines for a certain school project, I have
seen
most of the
people
there, living a difficult life. It is
because
they had to work the whole day under the sun for their rice fields and their homes had no electricity.
So
my
hard
day at work in the hospital
suddenly
does not seem
so
bad
for me at all.

In conclusion
, I
think
that whatever our reasons to travel, it will always sure that we, trippers, will always have personal advantages. Two of these are to have an alert mind and a feeling of compassion and contentment.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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