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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.29

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 29
The buzzword of the today's generation is definitely travelling. If you ask anyone “would you like to travel? ”; s/he would be ready to travel irrespective of their personal factors. Why this is so? Why are more and more people nowadays travelling frequently than before? Well, this has several benefits which we will discuss in this essay. Globalisation, technological advancement, cheap air ticket, the internet, more business needs etc. are the main reasons people are travelling more. The governments of many countries have taken initiatives to expand the tourism of their own countries and due to the easy access of information nowadays, more and more people plan to visit those tourist spots. For site seeing, business needs, migration and personal reasons people are travelling more these days. Firstly, despite the fact that travelling burns a hole in our pocket, it gives us once in a life time experience. A recent example of it would be, a month ago I went for trekking with my family in Manali and Shimla for a two week’s holiday. The experience I had during my trip was surreal. I just recall memories every now and then. Secondly, travelling alone to a new place not only makes us fearless but also brings a lot of changes in one's perspective and thought process. A good example of this would be my trip to a native’s place a year ago. Though I have been there since my childhood, this was the first time I was travelling alone. After that trip, I have become much more mature. In addition to this, my fear of long distance travelling is not my phobia anymore. Thirdly, travelling is also considered as a healer for those who are busy in their life either physically or mentally. For instance, my neighbour's trip to Goa has turned their family's fortune into new leaf as they have started living happily and peacefully now. This was not the scenario before, as both of them had frequent fights between them and they were on the verge of divorce a month ago. To sum up, travelling is a kind of experience which has several pros of it and it has become more popular than ever. If we sit and make note of travelling, the beautiful memories flash back and give us pleasant feelings.
The buzzword of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation is definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. If you ask anyone “would you like to travel? ”; s/he would be ready to travel irrespective of their personal factors. Why this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
? Why are more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
frequently
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
? Well, this has several benefits which we will discuss in this essay.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
, technological advancement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
air ticket, the internet, more business needs etc. are the main reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
more. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have taken initiatives to expand the tourism of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries and due to the easy access of information nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
plan to visit those tourist spots. For site seeing, business needs, migration and personal reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
more these days.

Firstly
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
burns a hole in our pocket, it gives us once in a
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
experience. A recent example of it would be, a month ago I went for trekking with my family in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manali
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shimla
for a
The apostrophe is probably in the wrong place here. Did you mean "two weeks’ holiday"?
two week’s holiday
. The experience I had during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
was surreal. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
recall memories every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone to a new place not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us fearless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in one's perspective and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this would be my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to a native’s place a year ago. Though I have been there since my childhood, this was the
first
time I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, I have become much more mature.
In addition
to this, my fear of long distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is not my phobia anymore.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is
also
considered as a healer for those who are busy in their life either
physically
or mentally.
For instance
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to Goa has turned their family's fortune into new leaf as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living
happily
and
peacefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This was not the scenario
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, as both of them had frequent fights between
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they were on the verge of divorce a month ago.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a kind of experience which has several pros of it and it has become more popular than ever. If we sit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
note of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
memories flash back and give us pleasant feelings.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 29

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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