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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.28

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 28
During recent years, especially subsequent 1950’s, the lifestyle of humans has changed rapidly. Advancement of technology has effectuated our lives and altered our habits and behaviours. Furthermore, technology and its outcomes have changed the face of the people around the world and this leads to “Global Village” phenomenon. One aspect of this occurrence is travelling and visiting the other parts of the world. People around the world, travel different distances for a wide range of reasons. Their trips can be divided into two categories. First, everyday trips by which people travel every day to reach their location. The second category is occasional journeys which people travel a long distance for a specific purpose. Moreover, we can’t deny the advancement of transportation of which we are capable of covering long distances, for example, America to Asia via airplanes, Bullet trains, roadways etc. So one origin of travelling frequently would be like this. Yet, like always, business and earning money is the greatest factor of travelling. Trading in other parts of the world, opening another branch of the company in other countries and many other reasons, which root of them, is business and economics, oblige people to travel different distances frequently. It is vital to know other people around the world. Moreover, through travelling human would be capable of comprehending other cultures and socialise with foreign people and this leads to knowing and identifying their needs and run a business. On the other hand, science and knowledge would be globally and then the human can advance faster than ever before. Furthermore, global village causes humankind to think globally and handle global issues. To sum up, it can be argued that at the same time, technology and economics have compelled and gave power to people to travel the Earth. This is beneficial for everyone, both of travellers and people who will be the host of travellers.
During recent years,
especially
subsequent
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1950s".
1950’s
, the lifestyle of humans has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
. Advancement of technology has effectuated our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and altered our habits and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Furthermore
, technology and its outcomes have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the face of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and this leads to “Global Village” phenomenon. One aspect of this occurrence is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
for a wide range of reasons. Their trips can
be divided
into two categories.
First
, everyday trips by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
every day to reach their location. The second category is occasional journeys which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
for a specific purpose.
Moreover
, we can’t deny the advancement of transportation of which we are capable of covering long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
,
for example
, America to Asia via airplanes, Bullet trains, roadways etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
one origin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
frequently
would be like this.
Yet
, like always, business and earning money is the greatest factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Trading in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, opening another branch of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons, which root of them, is business and economics, oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
frequently
.

It is vital to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Moreover
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
human would be capable of comprehending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this leads to knowing and identifying their needs and run a business. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, science and knowledge would be globally and then the human can advance faster than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, global village causes humankind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
globally and handle global issues.

To sum up, it can
be argued
that at the same time, technology and economics have compelled and gave power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
the Earth. This is beneficial for everyone, both of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will be the host of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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