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NOWADAYS MANY YOUNG PEOPLE DELIBERATELY DAMAGE PUBLIC PLACES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS? v.1

NOWADAYS MANY YOUNG PEOPLE DELIBERATELY DAMAGE PUBLIC PLACES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS? v. 1
When compared to history, at present, adolescents have more tendency to break public rules and laws. Among them, intentionally causing damages to public places is more common. This essay outline the possible causes and relevant solutions to this problem. One of the most affected causes of the problem is the lack of freedom due to the heavy workload of schools. Today, youth have to spend more than 75% of their time with studies and have no time to engage in leisure activities or to be relaxed. The continuation of this cause leads to mental stress and high pressure. As a result of that, young people try to gather together and harm the public properties to be free from the stress. According to a recent study, the majority of young people who commit crimes suffered fro any form of mental disorder. To prevent this, corresponding authorities have to take action to implement policies and procedures for sustainable childhood development and to maintain a healthy study-life balance of the youth. Further, being drug-addicted also contribute to this issue. A young person who has a strong addiction to drugs does not know how they behave once consume drugs. After taking drugs, young people lost their track of mind. Therefore, they might tend to damage public properties without intention. Recent research reported that the percentage of youth who addicted to drugs significantly rose up to 80% last year. To prevent this cause, enforcement of laws with severe punishments related to drug business and organizing awareness programs can be better solutions. In summary. this essay identifies less freedom due to heavy workload in school and drug addiction as the main reasons for damaging the properties of the public by adolescents. Moreover, the essay suggests that implementation of policies to maintain a balanced lifestyle of the youth, enforcing laws and punishments for drug dealers and organizing awareness programs to remedy the situation.
When compared to history, at present, adolescents have more tendency to break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and laws. Among them,
intentionally
causing damages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places is more common. This essay outline the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and relevant solutions to this problem.

One of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of the problem is the lack of freedom due to the heavy workload of schools.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more than 75% of their time with studies and have no time to engage in leisure activities or to
be relaxed
. The continuation of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
leads to mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and high pressure.
As a result
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to gather together and harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
properties to be free from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. According to a recent study, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commit crimes suffered
Did you mean "for" or "from"?
fro
any form of mental disorder. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this, corresponding authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take action to implement policies and procedures for sustainable childhood development and to maintain a healthy study-life balance of the youth.

Further
, being drug-addicted
also
contribute to this issue. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person who has a strong addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
does not know how they behave once consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. After taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of mind.
Therefore
, they might tend to damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
properties without intention. Recent research reported that the percentage of youth who addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
significantly
rose up to 80% last year. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
, enforcement of laws with severe punishments related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
business and organizing awareness programs can be better solutions.

In summary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay identifies less freedom due to heavy workload in school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction as the main reasons for damaging the properties of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
by adolescents.
Moreover
, the essay suggests that implementation of policies to maintain a balanced lifestyle of the youth, enforcing laws and punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers and organizing awareness programs to remedy the situation.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay NOWADAYS MANY YOUNG PEOPLE DELIBERATELY DAMAGE PUBLIC PLACES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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