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04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.2

04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 2
A growing number of couples want to give a birth to a child when they will be older and wiser. Below some reasons of the trend will be discussed and its merits and drawbacks will be given. To begin with, many adults decide to postpone a pregnancy because they wish to build a career and establish themselves. In fact, today’s society often measures how successful a person is through his or her job position. Furthermore, by delaying having offspring young people acquires a possibility to create all needed conditions for bringing up their progeny. For instance, many established grown-ups own apartments, automobiles and a large bank account with savings. All of this allows the mature parents to provide their offspring with goods and services that may be required. However, this trend has some advantages and disadvantages. Primarily, children of mature individuals have a better start in life because kids are given proper care and attention. They will have toys that develop their brains and bodies, tutors and teachers who will help youngsters to study better, and money to pay for studying in college or university. In addition, psychological studies demonstrate those who become fathers and mothers aged thirty and above usually devote a lot of time to the upbringing of their kids. At the same time, giving a birth later in life is associated with a higher probability of health issues of a new-born. Statistically, offspring of mature mothers have more chances to be born earlier than expected and have problems with a nervous system that increase a likelihood of having mental disorders in the adulthood. Moreover, mothers risk undermining their overall health because about one-third of all women who go through a pregnancy later in a life will have a surgery connected with or caused by it. To sum up, although reasons that lead to the trend are understandable and important, drawbacks definitely outweigh benefits because the well-being of children and women must be put first.
A growing number of couples want to give a birth to a child when they will be older and wiser. Below
some
reasons of the trend will
be discussed
and its merits and drawbacks will be
given
.

To
begin
with,
many
adults decide to postpone a pregnancy
because
they wish to build a career and establish themselves. In fact,
today
’s society
often
measures how successful a person is through
his or her
job position.
Furthermore
, by delaying having offspring young
people
acquires
a possibility to create all needed conditions for bringing up their progeny.
For instance
,
many
established grown-ups
own
apartments, automobiles and a large bank account with savings. All of this
allows
the mature parents to provide their offspring with
goods
and services that may
be required
.

However
, this trend has
some
advantages and disadvantages.
Primarily
, children of mature individuals have a better
start
in life
because
kids are
given
proper care and attention. They will have toys that develop their brains and bodies, tutors and teachers who will
help
youngsters to study better, and money to pay for studying in college or university.
In addition
, psychological studies demonstrate those who become fathers and mothers aged thirty and above
usually
devote
a lot of
time to the upbringing of their kids.

At the same time, giving a birth later in life
is associated
with a higher probability of health issues of a new-born.
Statistically
, offspring of mature mothers have more chances to
be born
earlier than
expected
and have problems with a nervous system that increase a likelihood of having mental disorders in the adulthood.
Moreover
, mothers
risk
undermining their
overall
health
because
about one-third of all women who go through a pregnancy later in a life will have a surgery connected with or caused by it.

To sum up, although reasons that lead to the trend are understandable and
important
, drawbacks definitely outweigh benefits
because
the well-being of children and women
must
be put
first
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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