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Today more people are overweight than ever before? What in your opinion are the primary cause of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic v.2

Today more people are overweight than ever before? What in your opinion are the primary cause of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic v. 2
The increasing level of fatness is becoming a major concern in many countries these days. The essay will highlight some key reasons of causes and effects of heaviness The globalization process has rapidly changed the human's lifestyle they create some primary causes that lead to chubbiness. Foremost important causes of plumpness are lack of exercise or lazy behaviour. Nowadays, people prefer car rather of walking for small distance likewise. Most of the office people come from the office they tend to relax and recover by surfing social media sites at home rather of going to the gym, on the other hand, one more cause leading corpulence that occurs unhealthy cuisine, plus lots of people consuming junk meal rather of healthy foodstuff which is rich in carbohydrates and unwanted fats. this leads to an enormous intake of calories. A lot of people consumed processed cuisine, especially with regard to ready-made meals which are a quick and easy option for parents who are working hard in their professional life The possible effects of chubbiness or health problems and loss of productivity. The effects of this have been continuing to be very serious. Main off there has been largely effected on health-related diseases among children in part of sleep pattern and concentration to get disturbed in obesity. Over healthy people are very unhealthy due to which they suffer from stress when their working capacity and productivity are then getting down at some point. Sometimes they often experience bullying from other children due to overweight, which results in them get an effect on their mental health or system The conclusion, It is evident there are several causes and effects of obesity among people. Society has to take measures for tackling this issue. Individuals have to take steps to prevent this problem in the future.
The increasing level of fatness is becoming a major concern in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries these days. The essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and effects of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
heaviness


Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
globalization process has
rapidly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the human's lifestyle they create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
that lead to chubbiness. Foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of plumpness are lack of exercise or lazy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer car
rather
of walking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distance
likewise
. Most of the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the office they tend to relax and recover by surfing social media sites at home
rather
of going to the gym,
on the other hand
, one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
leading corpulence that occurs unhealthy cuisine, plus lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consuming junk meal
rather
of healthy foodstuff which is rich in carbohydrates and unwanted fats.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
leads to an enormous intake of calories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consumed processed cuisine,
especially
with regard to ready-made meals which are a quick and easy option for parents who are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in their professional
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


The possible effects of chubbiness or health problems and loss of productivity. The effects of this have been continuing to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious. Main off there has been
largely
effected on health-related diseases among children in part of sleep pattern and concentration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disturbed in obesity. Over healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhealthy due to which they suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
when their working capacity and productivity are then getting down at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experience bullying from other children due to overweight, which results in them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on their mental health or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
system


The conclusion, It is evident there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and effects of obesity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take measures for tackling this issue. Individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this problem in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before? What in your opinion are the primary cause of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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