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Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v.45

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v. 45
Some exotic tourist destinations, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic are becoming more popular amongst the visitors recently. While this offers a few advantages, there are also some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits to the travellers travelling to these places. Firstly, these tourist spots offers new attractions. For example, the Antarctic displays animals, such as Polar bears, penguins, and sea lions, that is not often found in other places. This may be caused by the conditions of the place that creates an ecosystem that differs from other places. Secondly, tourist gains new experiences from the weather that can be very extreme. People who stayed tropical climate may not used to with the coldness of the Antarctic, as well as the extreme heat of the Sahara Desert. On the other hand, various drawbacks may be noted. In the first place, travelling to these places may be very expensive. Places, such as the Antarctic and the Sahara Desert, is not common routes for travelling, hence travel agencies need to make special arrangement from the local or even specialist to aid the tourist. Additionally, tourists who are not prepared for the challenging conditions may end up sick or worse. Some of these challenging destinations have conditions that are not the same from their hometown. Therefore, their body need to adapt as soon as they landed, or they may have difficulties enjoying their holiday. In conclusion, visiting these places offer excitement and experiences despite the challenges. However, there are few things that tourist need to be ready for, such as weather and cost. Therefore, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawback carefully before coming to a decision as to whether tourist should go to these places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations, such as the Sahara Desert or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
are becoming more popular amongst the visitors recently. While
Did you mean "these"?
this
offers a few advantages, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages which are worth considering.

There are two main benefits to the
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travellers
travelling to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots offers new attractions.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
displays animals, such as Polar bears, penguins, and sea lions,
that is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This may
be caused
by the conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that creates an ecosystem that differs from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
gains new experiences from the weather that can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
extreme.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who stayed tropical climate may not
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "use"
used
to with the coldness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
,
as well
as the extreme heat of the Sahara Desert.

On the other hand
, various drawbacks may
be noted
. In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, travelling to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Places
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
and the Sahara Desert, is not common routes for travelling,
hence
travel agencies need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
special arrangement from the local or even specialist to aid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who are not prepared for the challenging conditions may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up sick or worse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these challenging destinations have conditions that are not the same from their hometown.
Therefore
, their body need to adapt as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they landed, or they may have difficulties enjoying their holiday.

In conclusion
, visiting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
offer excitement and experiences despite the challenges.
However
, there are few things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
need to be ready for, such as weather and cost.
Therefore
, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against the drawback
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a decision
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
should go to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places? v. 45

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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