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Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.1

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1
The adoption of mobile phones is inevitable growing at an alarming rate in the present century. The usage of these electronic gadgets is rising at a faster pace in the 21st century. In addition, cellular phones can be used now for different objectives apart from calling. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of these modern digital phones. To begin with, wireless mobile plays a pivotal role in the lives of the present generation. One major merit of using these tools is that not only it is best for communicating with people worldwide, but also it can be used for sending emails, chatting, and posting photographs on social media platforms. Furthermore, it can also be used as a source for studying online for all the students. To illustrate, a survey report submitted by the telecommunication department stated that in Canada nearly 75% of people use their smartphones on a daily basis to send texts to their friends and families and also use it for circulating important messages via Gmail, Yahoo. But also implement it for reading newspaper and interesting online articles. In contrast, these wireless telephones can be harmful at the same time. One such demerit of using these devices is the harmful radiations which could be detrimental to humans. Moreover, it can be addictive to youngsters who operate these kind of battery phones for their academic studies and may cause serious eye problems. For example, an article written in The Sun newspaper stated that nearly 65% of people in Australia had been the victim of excessive use of mobile phones. To conclude, the utilization of these electronic instruments is expanding in the present century at a rapid rate. The main comfort of these phones is that it can be used to call your loved ones and you can see them as if they are in front of you. However, the main drawback of these widgets is that it can prove to be a big enemy to our life and may jeopardize our survival due to overuse of this equipment.
The adoption of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is inevitable growing at an alarming rate in the present century. The usage of these electronic gadgets is rising at a faster pace in the 21st century.
In addition
, cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
objectives apart from calling. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of these modern digital phones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, wireless mobile plays a pivotal role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the present generation. One major merit of using these tools is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is best for communicating with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worldwide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for sending emails, chatting, and posting photographs on social media platforms.
Furthermore
, it can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a source for studying online for all the students. To illustrate, a survey report submitted by the telecommunication department stated that in Canada
nearly
75% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their smartphones on a daily basis to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
texts to their friends and families and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for circulating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
messages via Gmail, Yahoo.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
implement it for reading newspaper and interesting online articles.

In contrast
, these wireless telephones can be harmful at the same time. One such demerit of using these devices is the harmful radiations which could be detrimental to humans.
Moreover
, it can be addictive to youngsters who operate
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of battery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for their academic studies and may cause serious eye problems.
For example
, an article written in The Sun newspaper stated that
nearly
65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Australia had been the victim of excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile phones.

To conclude
, the utilization of these electronic instruments is expanding in the present century at a rapid rate. The main comfort of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is that it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to call your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as if they are in front of you.
However
, the main drawback of these widgets is that it can prove to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
enemy to our life and may jeopardize our survival due to overuse of this equipment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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