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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.32

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 32
Introduction: With the pace of life in countries becoming faster and faster in the recent years, a demand for faster and more effective means of public transport is becoming greater than ever. Unsurprisingly, very fast trains would be the solution to this problem, however, constructing new railway lines would cost a ton of money. Some people think that the investment is necessary, whereas others believe that financial resources should be spent to improve the existing public transportation. This essay is going to discuss both views. Firstly, very fast trains would significantly improve the efficiency of travelling for people in a country. Explaining for this, these vehicles are able to obtain a very high speed which is significantly greater than that of a bus or a normal train. Additionally, they have their own railway built for them, meaning that the traffic jam is not affecting the trip at all. These two elements combined will effectively cut down the time for transportation. Thus, it can be agreed with this idea due to the obvious advantages mentioned above. An example for the importance of this is the subway facilities in Tokyo, a very busy city with people always rushing to work and it can be seen that the subway system here is massive with the majority of Japanese relying on it to get to work on time. By contrast, it will cost less to improve the present public vehicles. For improving the existing transport system, it will not require massive cost of the reconstruction of parts of the city to make way for the new trains, costs of improving the existing facilities and services will also be less than the price of new vehicles. Nonetheless, the essay disagrees with this idea due to the fact that improvements on the transport system only will not make much of a difference. For example, new buses were added to Hanoi recently, however, the improvements were not clearly between people. Conclusion: In summary, while very fast trains have proven to be an excellent mean of transportation it will not fit all countries in the world. Therefore, I think governments should do research into the possibility of implementing this way of travelling in their countries.
Introduction: With the pace of life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
becoming faster and faster in the recent years, a demand for faster and more effective means of public transport is becoming greater than ever.
Unsurprisingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
would be the solution to this problem,
however
, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway lines would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
a ton of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the investment is necessary, whereas others believe that financial resources should
be spent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the existing public transportation. This essay is going to discuss both views.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the efficiency of travelling for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Explaining for this, these vehicles are able to obtain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high speed which is
significantly
greater than that of a bus or a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
Additionally
, they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
railway built for them, meaning that the traffic jam is not affecting the trip at all. These two elements combined will
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the time for transportation.
Thus
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to the obvious advantages mentioned above. An example for the importance of this is the subway facilities in Tokyo, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy city with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always rushing to work and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the subway system here is massive with the majority of Japanese relying on it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work on time.

By contrast, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
less to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the present public vehicles. For improving the existing transport system, it will not require massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the reconstruction of parts of the city to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of improving the existing facilities and services will
also
be less than the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
vehicles. Nonetheless, the essay disagrees with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to the fact that improvements on the transport system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much of a difference.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
buses were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to Hanoi recently,
however
, the improvements were not
clearly
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Conclusion: In summary, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
have proven to be an excellent mean of transportation it will not fit all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should do research into the possibility of implementing this way of travelling in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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