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Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.2

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2
Nowadays tourism is on peak and it is surveyed that now jet-setters always try to visit the unique tourist places, where the weather conditions are very unrealistic according to their interest and choices. I delve about the benefits and drawbacks of this type of tourism in this essay. On the one hand, with the excess of tourism, numerous common tourist places are polluted with the increasing number of tourists and their garbage. Owing to this, sightseers want to discover such places where they could find peace and nature love. For instance, Most of the young Indian people visit Triyund, where they meet with their soul instead of the crowd. Definitely it is beneficial for the local state to boost up their income. On the other hand, sometimes situations became worst at the places where the atmospheric conditions are not up to the mark. Because it is not easy for the rescue teams and medical teams to reach such place very soon, Resulted many tourists lose their life even find out their dead bodies is also a difficult task. Apart from this, majority of people do not do analysis about the animals and species, which are living there. Due to this sometimes a trip becomes a dangerous adventure. To conclude, a person can visit any place according to his interest, but one should do a prior analysis about the suitable conditions of the place and also one should have proper information about the emergency teams and moreover government should declare some dangerous zone, where the entries of the visitors should be banned.
Nowadays tourism is on peak and it
is surveyed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
jet-setters always try to visit the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, where the weather conditions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unrealistic according to their interest and choices. I delve about the benefits and drawbacks of this type of tourism in this essay.

On the one hand, with the excess of tourism, numerous common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are polluted
with the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and their garbage. Owing to this, sightseers want to discover such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where they could find peace and nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
For instance
, Most of the young Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triyund
, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their soul
instead
of the crowd. Definitely it is beneficial for the local state to boost up their income.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
situations became worst at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where the atmospheric conditions are not up to the mark.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is not easy for the rescue teams and medical teams to reach such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, Resulted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
lose their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
even find out their dead bodies is
also
a difficult task. Apart from this, majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not do
In English, people don't say 'analysis about'. They say, 'analysis of'. Did you mean "analysis of"?
analysis about
the animals and species, which are living there. Due to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a trip becomes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
adventure.

To conclude
, a person can visit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
according to his interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should do a prior
In English, people don't say 'analysis about'. They say, 'analysis of'. Did you mean "analysis of"?
analysis about
the suitable conditions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
also
one should have proper information about the emergency teams and
moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should declare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
zone, where the entries of the visitors should
be banned
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara and Antarctic. What the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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