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International has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

International has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is true to say that International travel agencies had made more benefits through at a service for both traveller as a host nation while there are several drawbacks developments as well as. However, In my opinion, I firmly believe that the system of global travel advantages outweighs its disadvantages. On the one hand, there are many aspects of international travel. First of all, the international trade system such as hotels, food, visited events are overcharged. Sometimes travellers not happy going on these kinds of activities maintaining. Besides, travellers, which prohibited for our environment pollution and damage our attractive holes or construction by unfamiliar uses. Host travel can release from this situation and help to travellers who want excellent guiding. For example, The Sunday Times recently published news that 85% of resort in Malaysia and Thailand have made a concrete jungle by travellers careless uses happiness. One the other hand, despite this issue, it is the great profitable business as well. Moreover, every year in holiday host makes a great travel offer for travellers for enjoying their trip much cheaper way and foreign people brings lots of money for spending here, as a result, many works are created for jobless people for earning their lives. For instance, In every year Greece island Myconos search lots of skilled people for their hotel management with handsome salary to delivery for tourist lovers. It is a great source for earning money and build up for the country's economy. In conclusion, considering both views I continue to believe that although there has some issue for negative way, nation travel has benefits outweigh its demerits.
It is true to say that International
travel
agencies had made more benefits through at a service for both
traveller
as a host nation while there are several drawbacks developments
as well
as.
However
, In my opinion, I
firmly
believe that the system of global
travel
advantages outweighs its disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are
many
aspects of international
travel
.
First of all
, the international trade system such as hotels, food, visited
events
are overcharged
.
Sometimes
travellers
not happy going on these kinds of activities maintaining.
Besides
,
travellers
, which prohibited for our environment pollution and damage our attractive holes or construction by unfamiliar
uses
. Host
travel
can release from this situation and
help
to
travellers
who want excellent guiding.
For example
, The Sunday Times recently published news that 85% of resort in Malaysia and Thailand have made a concrete jungle by
travellers
careless
uses
happiness.

One
the other hand, despite this issue, it is the great profitable business
as well
.
Moreover
, every year in holiday host
makes
a great
travel
offer for
travellers
for enjoying their trip much cheaper way and foreign
people
brings
lots of money for spending here,
as a result
,
many
works
are created
for jobless
people
for earning their
lives
.
For instance
, In every year Greece island
Myconos
search lots of skilled
people
for their hotel management with handsome salary to delivery for tourist lovers. It is a great source for earning money and build up for the country's economy.

In conclusion
, considering both views I continue to believe that although there has
some
issue for
negative
way, nation
travel
has benefits outweigh its demerits.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay International has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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