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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why does this happen? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? v.2

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why does this happen? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? v. 2
Museums and historical monuments help us to connect with the past. While many foreign tourists visit these places to know about the culture of that area, local people rarely visit them. The main problem is the lack of promotion and maintenance of these historical sites. However, if the government takes proper action, the popularity of historical places can be increased among the locals. The tourists visit the historical sites and museums of other places because they are curious to know about the ethnic origin of those places. However, these historical places are losing their importance among locals due to the lack of interest in exploring them. In other words, they know about their indigenous cultures from their ancestors. Besides, there are many cultural books and online forums, which provide abundant information about their local history. Hence, these people lose their interest in going to these historical sites, especially if they are in dilapidated conditions. However, the situation can be improved by following a few simple steps. First, the government should advertise the value of the museums and historical places through the local satellite channels. Additionally, more archeological artifacts should be kept and promoted in different media to entice the native people. Second, the government should utilize some of the funds for refurbishing historical places and maintaining the museums. These methods can certainly build curiosity among these people up to some extent. To recapitulate, few local people are visiting heritage sites and museums because the government does not promote them among the locals. Nevertheless, this situation is still not out of hand and the interest of the native people can be developed through various promotional techniques and appropriate maintenance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
monuments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to connect with the past. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign tourists visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to know about the culture of that area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rarely visit them. The main problem is the lack of promotion and maintenance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
takes proper action, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
be increased
among the locals.

The tourists visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are curious to know about the ethnic origin of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are losing their importance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
due to the lack of interest in exploring them.
In other words
, they know about their indigenous cultures from their ancestors.
Besides
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultural books and online forums, which provide abundant information about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
history.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their interest in going to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
especially
if they are in dilapidated conditions.

However
, the situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by following a few simple steps.
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should advertise the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
satellite channels.
Additionally
, more archeological artifacts should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
and promoted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
media to entice the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should utilize
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
funds for refurbishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. These methods can
certainly
build curiosity among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

To recapitulate, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are visiting heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not promote them among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
Nevertheless
, this situation is
still
not out of hand and the interest of the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be developed
through various promotional techniques and appropriate maintenance.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why does this happen? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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