Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where condition are difficult such as Sahara or the Antarctic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places. v.1

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where condition are difficult such as Sahara or the Antarctic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places. v. 1
These days, tourism becomes flourishing with increasing of holidaymaker. As they are pursuing for a new experience to cure their boredom from their daily life. Providing many favourite locations are often occupied with many tourists, some often choose difficulty over the accommodation such as some distant land with a number of conditions for valuable experience. For example Volcano, The North Pole or The Amazon. There are many advantages and disadvantage of visiting these places. First of all, the main advantages is discomforting travel and hostile environment will fend off many casual tourist which leave the area intact and pure. As one could experience the pure nature in a long vacation is a great way to improve life quality. The place located in inhabitant area such as the Sahara will force them to leave their daily life behind which calm the visitor. Likewise, visiting an uninhabitable location will leave visitor to be with themselves. They therefore will enter the solitary state which most of the time could give many good ideas, reviewing their life and ultimately become calm and shape their minds like many great philosophers such as Buddha. In the same fashion, untouched nature like these is hardly to visit, If anyone manages to be there, at least it will give them much valuable experience with some nice story and sometimes a new friend. Nevertheless, the disadvantages is these lands are mostly hostile. There many cases had experienced serious injury, cripples and the worst case, death. These are from the hazardous environment such as very low or high temperature, poisonous creatures, wild diseases, and a lot more lethal causes. In the same manner, these areas are far from cities or civilization. In another word, the visitor have to expect low to non-accommodation, poor emergency responders and in the worst case there is hardly any medical treatment. In the meantime, visitor have to absorb an astonishing travel cost from many tangible needs such as an experienced local guide, a list of many special equipment and insurance. Death is also taking an account to visiting these places. In general, these place are beautiful and packed with great experience like a rare gem. By this I mean, it is a nice place for any risk able holidaymaker and we should visit once in a life time.
These days, tourism becomes flourishing with increasing of holidaymaker. As they are pursuing for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to cure their boredom from their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
locations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occupied with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose difficulty over the accommodation such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
distant land with a number of conditions for valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For example
Volcano, The North Pole or The Amazon. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantage of visiting these places.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main advantages is discomforting travel and hostile environment will fend off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
casual tourist which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the area intact and pure.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
one could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the pure nature in a long vacation is a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality. The place located in inhabitant area such as the Sahara will force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
behind which calm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
.
Likewise
, visiting an uninhabitable location will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
to be with themselves. They
therefore
will enter the solitary state which most of the time could give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, reviewing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
ultimately
become calm and shape their minds like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great philosophers such as Buddha. In the same fashion, untouched nature like these is hardly to visit, If anyone manages to be there, at least it will give them much valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nice story and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a new friend.

Nevertheless
, the disadvantages is these lands are
mostly
hostile. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases had experienced serious injury, cripples and the worst case, death. These are from the hazardous environment such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low or high temperature, poisonous creatures, wild diseases, and a lot more lethal causes. In the same manner, these areas are far from cities or civilization. In another word, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
low to non-accommodation, poor emergency responders and in the worst case there is hardly any medical treatment.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the meantime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
absorb an astonishing travel cost from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tangible needs such as an experienced local guide, a list of
Possible agreement error. The noun equipment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much special equipment", "a good deal of special equipment".
many special equipment
and insurance. Death is
also
taking an account to visiting these places.

In general
,
Did you mean "this place" or "these places"?
these place
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and packed with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
like a rare gem. By this I mean, it is a nice place for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
able
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
holidaymaker and
we should visit once in a
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourist are visiting places where condition are difficult such as Sahara or the Antarctic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts